I’ve loved Betty Bowers for about as long as I’ve been on the Internet. She’s America’s Best Christian, and she’s not afraid to tell everyone else how to live. I just found out (via the SGU forum) that she does YouTube videos, and I’m so damn excited I can’t stand it. Here she is, explaining traditional marriage to everyone else. How can you not love lines like “enough booty to make a Mormon compound seem quaintly understaffed”?

YouTube link

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca leads a team of skeptical female activists at Skepchick.org and appears on the weekly Skeptics' Guide to the Universe podcast. She travels around the world delivering entertaining talks on science, atheism, feminism, and skepticism. There is currently an asteroid orbiting the sun with her name on it. You can follow her every fascinating move on Twitter or on Google+.

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  1. Profile photo of Sam Ogden
    June 3, 2009 at 12:48 pm —

    Oh my god!!

    That is almost good enough to make me use smilies!

    Betty Bowers . . . Fuck yeah!!

  2. Profile photo of Jen
    June 3, 2009 at 12:53 pm —

    I believe this is, as they say, made of win.

  3. Profile photo of James Fox
    June 3, 2009 at 1:26 pm —

    Oh my gigiddy gawd than was funny! :D

  4. Profile photo of acrylicana
    June 3, 2009 at 2:12 pm —

    I concur with Jen. The level of win contained in this video is ever so high.
    I am so diving into the rest of the Bett Bowers Youtube channel. So damn funny.

  5. Profile photo of tiger kitty
    June 3, 2009 at 2:37 pm —

    OMG!!! LMAO!!! This was so funny!!!!!

  6. Profile photo of JoJodancingbear
    June 3, 2009 at 3:19 pm —

    That was Teh Aewsume. So funny.

  7. Profile photo of MiddleMan
    June 3, 2009 at 3:49 pm —

    I love Betty, too! And I’m taking this time to say that I want to marry her! Since I am already married; her, my wife and I can have a truly biblical marriage! Just as Jebus intended.

    After that, I’ll be needing some whor.. I mean, concubines. Professional concubines. Lots of ‘em.

  8. Profile photo of Outsider
    June 3, 2009 at 4:15 pm —

    Best toob EVAR.
    I had to send this around to all my about to be married friends and conservative bible humpers…err, thumpers.

  9. Profile photo of sporefrog
    June 3, 2009 at 4:48 pm —

    I thought it was serious for about the first 15 seconds. Then I just started laughing.

    Satire at its best!

  10. Profile photo of Bjornar
    June 3, 2009 at 4:58 pm —

    Terrific, but I feel cheated that she left out Lot’s daughters.

    “In the bible, marriage is between a man and his baby crazed daughters who get him drunk so they can bear him the sons he can’t have on account of the horny daughters’ mother now being a condiment.”

  11. Profile photo of Joe B
    June 3, 2009 at 5:08 pm —


    It’s a plate of win slathered with awesome sauce.

  12. Profile photo of LOLkate
    June 3, 2009 at 10:49 pm —

    I would marry this woman and a pack of live in whores.

  13. Profile photo of xenu
    June 4, 2009 at 8:39 am —

    I like the end where it said “God told me to hate you” You can’t make this shit up.

  14. Profile photo of CatFurniture
    June 4, 2009 at 1:11 pm —

    I used to love reading Betty Bowers’ wisdom over on Landover Baptist’s website. I haven’t checked it out in years, though. It’s always good for a chuckle, though:

    I also remember Sister Taffy’s anti-tampon crusade. Tampons are nothing be Satan’s Little Cotton Fingers, after all. She promotes Angel Pads instead. “Why, they’ve even got wings!”

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