Tuesday Political Round-Up: Dear Donald Trump…

Good morning, friends! I have great news this morning: only five more Tuesdays until this unbearable election season is over. Hopefully the coinciding sense of crushing existential dread can go with it! Since it can be difficult to find election news (LOL), here’s your Tuesday morning political dump: 

  • Today is the last day to register to vote in Pennsylvania, Florida, Ohio, Texas, Georgia, Michigan, South Carolina, New Mexico, Indiana, Louisiana, Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Washington DC. Not sure if you’re registered? What are you waiting for, someone to hand the nuclear keys over to a bloviating orange gremlin? Check here
  • has a petition asking NBC and MGM to release damning tapes from Trump’s days on The Apprentice. The tapes are currrently being held hostage by NBC, and in particular Mark Burnett – Apprentice executive producer, and Donald Trump BFF. In addition to the petition, some are asking billionaire/(best) NBA team owner Mark Cuban to front the legal fees. How cool is it that powerful people in the media can simply halt the spread of information by threatening crushing monetary action against whistleblowers? But please, tell me more about the liberal media conspiracy… 
  • Lindy West was in the New York Times (not sure if you’ve heard of it) this weekend channeling women’s collective experiences into a blistering essay about the now-infamous “Grab Them By the Pussy!” tapes. The essay is 3 parts battle cry, 3 parts raw emotion, and 10,000 parts YASSSS. <insert clapping emoji>  
  • Kurt Eichenwald has an open letter to Donald Trump in which he details how he’s at the center of a Russian disinformation campaign that Trump is happily going along with. In an election season where facts mattered in the slightest, this would probably actually be pretty big news!
  • In the spirit of open letters to Trump, here’s another from former NFL punter (and current #WokeBae), Chris Kluwe. In it he writes, “Dear Donald Trump: I played in the NFL. Here’s what we really talk about in the locker room.” Kluwe’s righteous rage comes out full force as he writes, “Now, Donald, I’m sure you’re wondering just what it is we talk about in a professional locker room, if we don’t spend all our time regarding 50 percent of the population as mobile fuck receptacles eagerly awaiting our tiny-handed grasp on their love lapels. I shall educate you!” Chris Kluwe is without a doubt the best thing the NFL ever gave us. 

Featured Image by Marc Nozell.

Courtney Caldwell

Courtney Caldwell is an intersectional feminist. Her talents include sweary rants, and clogging your social media with pictures of her dogs (and occasionally her begrudging cat). She's also a political nerd, whose far-left tendencies are a little out of place in the deep red Texas.

Related Articles


  1. There is no better example of the power of justified reasoning then the fact that Billy Bush has been suspended (pending review, meaning he’ll be fired quietly) from his job of talking to celebrities and yet Donald Trump is still interviewing for a job (and getting about 40% support) where he will have access to our armed forces.

    That tape automatically disqualifies you from chatting with Kelly Clarkson but not from launching nukes?

    This species is doomed.

    1. In other news, Zhirilinsky (one of Putin’s allies, and your standard Russian right-wing nationalist) has threatened to nuke the US if we don’t vote for Trump.

      As a teenager, Secretary Clinton actually worked for the Republicans. Their candidate (who, it says something about our elections that Trump isn’t doing worse than this guy did) once said “Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice.”

      Now that we actually have workable missile defense…yeah.

  2. I’ve managed to live 60 years with an X chromosome without participating in a conversation like Bush/Trump’s.

    BUT. I can’t say that I’m surprised at all. Trumps ‘polite,’ ‘cleaned up,’ public face makes his inner nature no big secret. Is all this Republican shock dependent upon him saying ‘pussy?’ Sort of like David Duke being treated as a legit politician as long as he doesn’t say ‘nigger’ on a live mic.

    The Republican Party’s slogan was coined by Welch at the Army-McCarthy hearings:
    ‘At long last…no sense of decency.’

  3. Here in Canada, it’s impossible to avoid getting information about your election.
    Honestly, I think 36 million people spend about an hour every day, staring south with their mouths half-open, thinking, “What the … buh … whuh … how … but …?”
    I mean, our politics is far from perfect, but holy shit. This guy can barely form sentences without foaming at the mouth and going off on some kind of racist, misogynist or otherwise bigoted rant. How can anybody … jeezus … I just don’t get it.

  4. It does make it easy to run against Trump if you’re running for Congress. I can tell you, Joe Pakootas, Denise Juneau, and Chase Iron Eyes are taking notes on who is defending him. (In Iron Eyes’ case, his opponent, Kevin Cramer, was also an opponent of VAWA, which is deplorable enough.)

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Back to top button