Quickies

Skepchick Quickies 12.10

Amanda

Amanda is a science grad student in Boston whose favorite pastimes are having friendly debates and running amok.

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21 Comments

  1. From the FWB article:

    chastity is optional but condoms are not

    This is the best way I’ve ever heard it explained. This slogan should be chanted in high schools everywhere. I wonder if I can get bumper sticker that says this?

  2. Seems to me, the sort of people who DO experience any sort of trauma or horrible guilt from casual relationships are those who come from strict religious backgrounds where they are told they MUST feel that way because sex is bad. People raised with a healthy respect for sex and an understanding of how to protect themselves are much more balanced about it. In my experience and opinion.

  3. My current guy is FWB. This is the longest relationship I’ve ever had (3 years) and it’s the best I’ve ever had.

    The testosterone thing doesn’t surprise me in the least. In my long work-life, the more “manly” the man, the more honest and fair he proved to be; the more “girly” the woman, the more likely you were to end up with a knife in your back. That’s just anecdotal evidence on my part, but it is nice to see some science backing up my suspicions.

    Of course, the most honest and fair and supportive men I’ve ever worked with were all gay.

    As for the number of women in science, there are plenty out there but they are just not as well known as the men. It would be great if they were promoted (as in publicized) more to young girls. I think girls are natural scientists, they just don’t get the right encouragement.

  4. @Vengeful Harridan (Elexina): You don’t even have to have a religious background. Do you know how often I, as a woman, have been told I’m a dirty whore because I *gasp* enjoy sex, and sometims I have FWB relationships, and sometimes I’ve even had *gasp* one night stands? And I’m not traumatized, but people feel the need to insit that I must be, or something must be wrong, and I’m just a slut for enjoying sex. Thankfully my friends don’t feel this way, but certain strangers and acquaintances surely do.

    Our society views sex as ~dirty and bad~. If you are a women and have sex outside of a long-term relationship and/or marriage, something must be wrong. Surely you were molested as a child! Surely it’s due to low self-esteem, and not because you enjoy sex! Women do not enjoy sex, surely not!

    Men don’t get it as much, but even still, men who have casual sex partners or FWB are often thought of as players are womanizers, even if they aren’t.

  5. Oh boy. Great news on the wild oats side. Maybe now I’ll have scientific proof that it’s ok for girls to ditch their boyfriends and mess around with me without feeling bad about it :). At least I don’t feel bad about it. Except when I don’t get to do it anymore.

    As a former Catholic, it feels good to be liberated from the senseless guilt.

  6. The bike lane story is really, really confusing. I had to read it like 3 times before I figured out why it was an issue with each group, who painted what, and what colour. Did anyone else have that problem? Or is it time to go back up to 2 cups of coffee?

  7. @marilove: Now now, you’re obviously just in the throes of a bout of hysteria. Luckily for you Dr. Weiss has invented a marvelous contraption, using a small electric motor paired with an unbalanced axle! You’ll reach paroxysm and be cured of your disorder in no time, without any harm coming to your purity!*

    (* The State of Texas legally requires all unbalanced axles to be referred to as “marital aids.”)

    Now I want to see a commercial like this made in the same vein as the Enzyte commercials (for that natural male enhancement that works where it counts!).

  8. I’ve heard of the bike lane for some time now, being an avid utility cyclist. It started as all about the clothes bicyclists wear, not just hipsters. It seems hard to believe that the Supreme Court has ruled that the KKK can march through the streets but bicyclists can’t roll to work or to the grocery store through certain neighborhoods. More religious dogma- oh, everyone has to wear clothes like it says in the Bible!

  9. More religious dogma- oh, everyone has to wear clothes like it says in the Bible!

    Oh I HATE this (sorry, you hit on something that has always bothered me). The idea of the human body being something to hide drives me NUTS. Having gone to Burning Man, once you see naked people of all shapes and sizes hammering rebar into the playa, nudity doesn’t seem like a big deal anymore :-P

    I hate it because I never knew what a penis looked like growing up because my parents shielded me from ever seeing one — I saw diagrams in health class but that was it. That is horribly, stupidly sad.

    My husband is shy to be naked around our baby daughter and it bugs the shite out of me that people think it’s somehow sexually inappropriate to just SEE a naked man (my husband is just shy from conditioning I think)

    Did anyone hear the news story about a woman who was put in jail for a while because she took pictures of her baby in a bathtub!? Wtf.

    Nudity does not equal sexuality.

    Oh, and people need to relax about sex too! *trying to stear the topic more towards the Quickies* /rant

  10. I was looking for some indication of how much testosterone was administered. (I realize the study claimed some affect after “one dose,” but was that all that was given?) Could it not be that higher levels for extended periods might give a different result?

    I can easily imagine that women who thought they had been given testosterone (whether they actual had been) might act more aggressively. After all, the hormone has a reputation for making people more aggressive. I’ve heard of similar studies where people were given non-alcoholic beer unawares and acted drunk. That doesn’t prove alcoholic beer won’t get you drunk for real.

  11. @Surly Nymph:

    once you see naked people of all shapes and sizes hammering rebar into the playa, nudity doesn’t seem like a big deal anymore

    I’ve actually had this idea that the best way to reduce “impure” thoughts and actions is to go the opposite of the burqa, and just make everyone be naked all the time. Sure, things would be crazy for about a week, but then everyone would just get used to it. And no one could ever dress in a revealing way, because you just can’t get less clothing than naked. I think “revealing” is completely relative and when you’re used to see shadowy clouds of dark fabric, even an ankle will get you excited. Of course, my idea won’t be practical until we figure out how to make outside nice and warm all year round.

  12. I’ve actually had this idea that the best way to reduce “impure” thoughts and actions is to go the opposite of the burqa, and just make everyone be naked all the time

    So true. We could probably do this during the summer months and by the time winter arrives people will already be desensitized. When you make it taboo — people will find it arousing. Erase the taboo and it’s just normal.

  13. When my grandmother was in the beginning stages of Alzheimers and I took her to the mall, she’d look at veiled women and say, “Look at all the women dressed like the Virgin Mary. I wonder why those girls with the fat rolls sticking out of their jeans don’t dress that way. Draped fabric gracefully is so much more attractive on a heavy girl than tight fabric is.” She said made some pretty askew comments in those days.

  14. @Surly Nymph: The problem with this idea is that people who wear clothes of any kind would be considered antisocial or worse and would be required to go to special places where they can wear clothes with the rest of the “weirdos”. Sound familiar?

    A better way to ease into this might be something like lingerie-only Fridays. Besides, no one wants to see the average man naked in public. I mean, really. ;-)

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