Cindy Jacobs reveals that the reason God ignored your prayers to cure cancer was because he was too busy making a pair of her shoes last for “years and years and years.”
via Right Wing Watch
Cindy Jacobs reveals that the reason God ignored your prayers to cure cancer was because he was too busy making a pair of her shoes last for “years and years and years.”
via Right Wing Watch
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I used to think it was God making my vibrator batteries last forever, but it turned out it was the Energizer Bunny. Now I pray to it instead.
/coarse humour
Cindy certainly is a hoot, isn’t she? Perhaps she could ask God to multiply my job offers or at least my mortgage payments.
Looks as though they’re broadcasting from the bottom of a well.
There’s a Greta Christina joke begging to come out here.
Clearly, god wanted her to have those shoes.
THANK YOU.
Weird. My shoes always last for years and years and years, too. There must be some kind of Atheist god looking out for us Atheists?
If G-d multiplies food, why does anyone go without? Should I be praying instead of setting up a fundraiser for Second Harvest? Right here, if you’re interested: https://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/shyra-latiolais/orangeyouluckyyouhaveenoughtoeat
Also, I hope the shoes were really cute.
God must have made those Liz Claiborne ladies’ sports blazers from the 80s with shoulder pads. My mom still wears hers and the damn things won’t fall apart.
It’s still nearly impossible to find blazers/suit jackets without some sort of padding, usually built-in. I have wide shoulders. I do not need padding!
I’m sticking with Joe Pesci. He can get things done.
I’m thinking Cindy is actually quite disappointed that god gave the long lasting endurance to a pair of shoes instead of her husband.
Zing!
Maybe God is also responsible for any given cancer lasting “years and years and years”. He or she seems pretty indiscriminate with making things long-lived.
Apparently god doesn’t like Van’s. He always makes mine wear out in less than a year.
I used to be a Mormon, and this type of thinking was CONSTANT. One big confirmation bias party. You’d grab a hold of any little coincidence, blow it out of proportion and take that as proof positive for god. You’ve got your “it was God’s will” card ready to play when you can’t make it fit.
The bees are in the what now?