I am by no means perfect. None of us are. Life is a growing process. I try to refine my skills and behaviors as the years go by in order to promote the happiness and productivity of myself and the people around me. When I do something that I have found to be a bad or unhealthy thing, I do what I can to stop that behavior. I used to smoke cigarettes when I was younger. Once I fully realized the danger inherent in smoking, I quit. It was extremely difficult at the time but one of the best things I ever did for myself. As I get older, I realize that I need to exercise on a regular basis to stay healthy so I have incorporated that into my weekly routine as well. It’s a literal pain in the ass but well worth the effort in the end.
There are lots of little things that I have added and subtracted from my life as the years have gone by Â in order to cultivate happiness and health. However, I have stumbled upon one part of my character that I am not sure is good or bad. Â I tend to think it has worked quite well for me over the years but I am curious what the rest of you think.
I will hold on to a grudge, sometimes forever. If you have wronged me or treated me badly I have a REALLY hard time letting it go. I am one of those people who would much rather forget about you than forgive you. Now, don’t get me wrong if you drop a plate or spill wine on my shirt or do something accidentally, I won’t care. I am not petty. However, if you do something intentionally or if I deem it to be a conscious attempt to hurt me emotionally or tell a lie about me in order to better yourself or to get ahead, I will find it extremely difficult to forgive you, ever. Some would call this a flaw. I would call it weeding out the assholes.
What I want to know is, am I the only one who does this? Is it part of my Surly nature? Are people happier when they forgive and forget or are you just opening yourself up to let the jerks have another swipe at you? I have never been at a loss for friends so this behavior has in no way alienated me from the group. In fact, I find myself surrounded by wonderful, honest, kind people I can trust and love. I hear so much about forgiveness, I just feel it need not always apply.
When do you feel it is better to forgive and forget? When is it appropriate to clip or cut people out of your life when they have done you wrong?
The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear daily at 3pm ET.