Maybe the Loch Ness Monster Ate Your Baby

Did ‘Nessie’ roam down under?

Thank you, Reuters. Thank you for inspiring the wet dreams of countless myth-obsessed cryptozoologeeks. Scientists in Australia discovered fossils of two reptiles in the Plesiosaurs genus, located on the site where once stood an inland sea. The statement issued by the researchers indicated that one reptile resembled a seal, and the article doesn’t delve into the details of how the other reptile looked besides stating that it is much larger than the other, with needle-like teeth.

It’s a great article, because it lists these facts about the finding, none of which have anything to do with mythical creatures in Scottish lakes, and then at the very end tags on this paragraph:

The Loch Ness monster, sometimes called Nessie, is a mysterious and unidentified animal said to live in Loch Ness, a large freshwater lake in Scotland. Most scientists and experts say it’s a hoax.

That’s kind of like writing an article all about a recent neurological discovery, and then ending with:

Phrenology is the study of bumps on a person’s head and how those bumps relate to personality and health. Most scientists and experts say it’s a load of hooey.

Plesiosaurs have taken the blame for many a Nessie sighting, so I can’t wait to see how this new discovery will bolster the Loch Ness fanatics. On a forum for paranormal believers, I found one funny random quote:

If all this is true, this provides lots of evidence for the Loch Ness Monster. One of the arguments against it was that the loch’s water should be too cold for a reptile. However, these creatures supposedly lived in bodies of water that would actually freeze over.
Another is that plesiosaurs were creatures that lived in salt water, and skeptics often argued that they shouldn’t be able to get used to fresh water. If these scientists are right, plesiosaurs could live in both fresh and salt water.
Third, perhaps the reason sightings are so scarce is because, like the scientists theorize, they only stay in the loch to breed their young, then leave somewhere else?

Par for the course!

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca is a writer, speaker, YouTube personality, and unrepentant science nerd. In addition to founding and continuing to run Skepchick, she hosts Quiz-o-Tron, a monthly science-themed quiz show and podcast that pits comedians against nerds. There is an asteroid named in her honor. Twitter @rebeccawatson Mastodon Instagram @actuallyrebeccawatson TikTok @actuallyrebeccawatson YouTube @rebeccawatson BlueSky

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  1. "Par for the course!"

    I must dispute. I think the ball went way off course and knocked a few billion people in the head—causing severe damage to the thinking part of their brain.

  2. So, evidence of Nessie being here downunder???? :-)

    I know, maybe they can start looking for the Yowie in Scotland.

  3. I'd love to think so, nsetzer, but I've seen way too many articles about real science stamped from this same "Let's spin it with a bunch of crazy, unrelated bullshit!" mold to think this is anything other than business as usual.

  4. There is quite literally no limit to the kinds of evidence these people will accept. Oh, wait. Yes there is, it's all that compelling scientific kind of evidence that they ignore.

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