Today, as many of you know, is June 6, 2006. We currently abide by the 12-month calendar, arbitrarily numbering each month beginning in January. This makes June month number six. We also sometimes abbreviate the year by the last two digits, though we don’t really do it all that often any more, since we learned that could present some problems when we turn over a new century. If you ignore that, then we can all get a big thrill out of the fact that today’s date can be abbreviated as 06.06.06, which kind of looks like “666,” which may have been mentioned in passing as a number of importance in the acid trip that is the book of Revelation.
Crazy religious nutballs everywhere have looked toward today’s date with a kind ofÃ‚ terrified anticipation. They don’t know whether to hide from the rogue bands of satanists roaming the streets or stand on their rooftops playing old Amy Grant standards and awaiting the second coming of Jesus.Ã‚ There are reports of womenÃ‚ who induced labor last week to avoid giving birth to the anti-christ, which just makes me wonder how much control they think they have overÃ‚ supposedly divinely-inspiredÃ‚ prophesy. After all, just look at all the trouble the GreeksÃ‚ had whenever they tried to sneak one by those clever oracles.Ã‚ My guess is that the anti-christ was just birthed by a woman who was due today, but who induced labor last Thursday on the first. The actual number “666” is disputed as being what was originally written — many scholars believe that the number is actually “616.” Whoops!
I’m sure a number of you spent this morning waiting in line outside your local bookseller in order to purchase your copy of The Rapture, the most recent Left Behind novel, that highly intellectual series widely considered to be masterpieces of literature. By “widely considered” I mean “considered by Kirk Cameron.”
Speaking of the Rapture, are you a fan of Grand Theft Auto but thought that it could’ve used a bit more proselytyzing? The last time you beat cash out of a diseased hooker in the back ofÃ‚ a vacant lot, did you think, “Man, I could get this done so much faster if only I had a heavy book to use, like maybe a Bible”? Well, good news! Blog reader Wendy sent me a note to let me know that Rick Warren — author of The Purpose Driven Life and recently named one of Time Magazine’s 100 most influential people in the country — is helping to promote a new video game that allows good, Christian teens and adults to gun down heretics and nonbelievers on the virtual streets of New York City. If you’re surprised, you haven’t been paying attention.
I can only assume that if you’re still reading, you’re a masochist with a finely tuned hatred for your own brain. So, here’s your very own 6.06.06 present: a link to a thread about today on the Rapture Ready Message Board. Enjoy such gems as
Does anyone besides me feel that something terrible is going to happen today? I’ve had this feeling now for over a week, and I hope I’m not just being superstitious. This day is an important day in the calendar for satanists. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks!!
CringeÃ‚ as some people on the RR forum — who seriously believe that long-term stock options are worthless since JESUS will descend from theÃ‚ heavens in the next few years and kill everyone anyway — dismiss other people’s worries about the date as “superstitious.”
Get your false hopes up as they occasionally display hints of sanity:
SOmetimes, I think we are paranoid on RR. Rather, lets live and celebrate the life the Lord has given us.
only to be let down just moments later:
what I find absolutly silly is how the liberal media won’t give credable stories about Christ half a sceond, but this whole 666 thing they are jumping all over…maybe deep down those without Christ aknowledge that there is something to fear with out Christ..that empty hole is eating away at them and they don’t know how to fill it, but fear can be a good thing, maybe the fear of what the number could be, could bring lost souls to dig deeper, we could hope right?