Annual Reminder: Don’t Give Your Change to the Salvation Army
Why? Because despite what they say every time they’re caught doing something anti-gay, they are in fact anti-gay. Here’s my video on the topic, plus a close-enough transcript for those who want it!
When the Scientologists started their own navy, we laughed at them and called them a cult. When the Methodists started their own army, we gave them all our spare change, amounting to millions of dollars each year.
Yes, it’s the Salvation Army, often thought of in the US these days as a simple charity dedicated to eliminating poverty. In actuality, it really does satisfy many of the requirements of being an army:
3. they hate gay people
If you ask them directly, of course, they’ll say that last one isn’t true. Just like the real military! For instance, after Major Andrew Craibe stated that the Salvation Army belief system included the belief that homosexuals should be put to death, the Salvation Army responded with a statement reading, “Salvation Army members do not believe, and would never endorse, a view that homosexual activity should result in any form of physical punishment.” Many people accepted this statement, despite the fact that it was proven untrue by the very incident to which it was responding.
The UK branch campaigned against the repeal of an ordinance that discouraged the “teaching of acceptance of homosexuality” by schools.
In 2003 SA worked with the Bush administration to make it easier for orgs to discriminate against gays, and they spent about $100,000 lobbying for Bush’s faith-based initiative.
In 2004 the New York branch of the SA threatened to close down rather than offer benefits to the partners of gay employees.
Just last month, Wayne Besen discovered that the SA was referring clients to gay conversion organizations. When he made it public, all links to the orgs were removed from the website.
So basically, the Salvation Army is virulently anti-gay in every way that they can get away with without letting the greater public know how anti-gay they are, because as the world progresses to a point where anti-gay discrimination is looked down upon, SA wants to keep both their dark ages belief and your nickels.
It’s amazing that SA is actually less controversial now than when they started. The org began in London in 1865 and at the time, their main goal was converting people to the new religion. Secondarily, they fought against the sale of alcohol, gaining them plenty of vocal opponents.
In fact, their more boisterous critics formed a collective known as the Skeleton Army, which would follow the Salvation Army around dsirupting their meetings, singing bawdy versions of their songs, and throwing animal bones at the proseltyzers. While the SA promoted the three “S”s: soup, soap, and salvation, the Skeleton Army promoted the three B’s: beef, beer, and bacca. They were considered rowdy, crude, and blasphemous.
I know you already love them, but they did go too far, unfortunately, sometimes creating riots that resulted in the deaths of several salvationists.
So I don’t suggest that you form a new Skeleton Army to fight the SA. Instead, just find something better to do with your loose change. Like give it to the homeless guy on the corner. Sure, maybe he’ll just spend it on beer, but you gotta love that irony. Plus, he probably won’t spend it on a lobbyist who hates gay people. Win win!