Religion

God Miraculously Makes Shoes Last for Years

Rebecca Watson January 10, 2013
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God Miraculously Makes Shoes Last for Years

Cindy Jacobs reveals that the reason God ignored your prayers to cure cancer was because he was too busy making a pair of her shoes last for “years and years and years.”

via Right Wing Watch

By Rebecca Watson
Rebecca leads a team of skeptical female activists at Skepchick.org and appears on the weekly Skeptics' Guide to the Universe podcast. She travels around the world delivering entertaining talks on science, atheism, feminism, and skepticism. There is currently an asteroid orbiting the sun with her name on it. You can follow her every fascinating move on Twitter: @rebeccawatson.

17 Comments

  1. Kaloikagathoi  /  January 10, 2013, 12:06 pm

    I used to think it was God making my vibrator batteries last forever, but it turned out it was the Energizer Bunny. Now I pray to it instead.

    /coarse humour

  2. fullyladenswallow  /  January 10, 2013, 12:07 pm

    Cindy certainly is a hoot, isn’t she? Perhaps she could ask God to multiply my job offers or at least my mortgage payments.

    • fullyladenswallow  /  January 10, 2013, 12:12 pm

      Looks as though they’re broadcasting from the bottom of a well.

  3. CerealDave  /  January 10, 2013, 12:09 pm

    There’s a Greta Christina joke begging to come out here.

    • punchdrunk  /  January 10, 2013, 12:22 pm

      Clearly, god wanted her to have those shoes.

  4. Lukas  /  January 10, 2013, 12:20 pm

    Weird. My shoes always last for years and years and years, too. There must be some kind of Atheist god looking out for us Atheists?

  5. IsisUptown  /  January 10, 2013, 12:26 pm

    If G-d multiplies food, why does anyone go without? Should I be praying instead of setting up a fundraiser for Second Harvest? Right here, if you’re interested: https://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/shyra-latiolais/orangeyouluckyyouhaveenoughtoeat

    Also, I hope the shoes were really cute.

  6. Nicole Introvert  /  January 10, 2013, 1:01 pm

    God must have made those Liz Claiborne ladies’ sports blazers from the 80s with shoulder pads. My mom still wears hers and the damn things won’t fall apart.

    • marilove  /  January 10, 2013, 1:14 pm

      It’s still nearly impossible to find blazers/suit jackets without some sort of padding, usually built-in. I have wide shoulders. I do not need padding!

  7. aiabx  /  January 10, 2013, 1:02 pm

    I’m sticking with Joe Pesci. He can get things done.

  8. Jacob V  /  January 10, 2013, 2:21 pm

    I’m thinking Cindy is actually quite disappointed that god gave the long lasting endurance to a pair of shoes instead of her husband.

  9. Rory Parle  /  January 10, 2013, 8:02 pm

    Maybe God is also responsible for any given cancer lasting “years and years and years”. He or she seems pretty indiscriminate with making things long-lived.

  10. Colleen Ahern  /  January 11, 2013, 12:01 am

    Apparently god doesn’t like Van’s. He always makes mine wear out in less than a year.

  11. capndanger  /  January 11, 2013, 10:31 am

    I used to be a Mormon, and this type of thinking was CONSTANT. One big confirmation bias party. You’d grab a hold of any little coincidence, blow it out of proportion and take that as proof positive for god. You’ve got your “it was God’s will” card ready to play when you can’t make it fit.

  12. Madfishmonger  /  January 11, 2013, 9:05 pm

    The bees are in the what now?

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