Afternoon Inquisition

AI: I Totally Knew There Was Gonna Be An Earthquake

Did you feel that earthquake the other day? It was crazy. Everything shook and I knew it was going to happen. I even told my husband and I told some of my friends a few days prior. I was like, “Dude, there is totally gonna be an earthquake.” I was so psychically connected to the earthquake idea that I strapped a pillow on my head. You know, in case something was to fall on it. Laugh all you want but I have been in earthquakes before and trust me, stuff will fall on your head. Okay, I didn’t do the pillow thing cuz that would look silly but I thought about it and I was wearing all my fancy jewelry. Not just to be a show off but so that when the earthquake hit I would have all my important stuff with me.

Yeah, that’s right. I am a genius-psychic earthquake-predictor. I kick ass.

What is my next prediction you ask?

Well, there is totally going to be an earthquake. Duh.

I live in California and there are going to be earthquakes. That is one prediction you can bet on. There will be quakes and every so many years there are going to be big ones. We are due, green quakestatistically speaking, for a big one any time now. The San Andreas Fault in particular is long overdue for a significant quake. It could seriously happen at any moment and if you walk around saying there will be an earthquake, eventually you get to be right and then you get to say you are psychic!

Wondering how many times I said there was going to be an earthquake and there wasn’t one? Did I mention the earthquake was actually in Mexico and just shook California? Ah, don’t worry about it. Remember the hits and forget the misses just like the professional psychics teach us to do!

Here is your chance to play psychic and maybe even say I told you so! Make a prediction of your own! Look into your crystal balls (your crystal ones) oh psychic readers of Skepchick and predict a celebrity death or a catastrophe or some other significant (or insignificant) event. Tell me, what do you predict will happen?

The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays at 3pm ET.

Amy Roth

Amy Davis Roth (aka Surly Amy) is a multimedia artist who resides in Los Angeles, California. She makes Surly-Ramics. She is the fearless leader of Mad Art Lab. Support her on Patreon. Follow her on twitter: @SurlyAmy or on Google+. Tip Jar is here.

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52 Comments

  1. Boston is in the short-term plans of terrorists. Due to counter-intelligence, I don’t know if anything will be actually carried on with success, but I say Boston is at high risk, and perhaps we will be able to perceive indirectly (alert level rise, etc…).

  2. I’m seeing a catastrophe in the Mediteranean region-southern europe, northern africa, and asia minor. I can’t tell if its natural or man made, but there will be major loss of life, in the triple digits, within one years time.

    Ok, can I have my own show predicting things now?

  3. I predict that eventually that mail-order-asteroid I bought a few years ago will get here. I got the “event” size. I was stupid to order it ground, but it seemed the natural way to go.

  4. I predict that a guy or an older woman in an expensive car, driving while doing something else (texting, shaving, applying makeup, watching something interesting on the sidewalk) will slam into a stationary object in front of my office building on Pico within the next 3 days (It happens at least once a week, sometimes, once a day for days on end).

  5. I predict that when the temp hits 80 degrees (F) in NYC on April 7th, someone on Fox (or CNN) news will say: “Huh, maybe there IS something to that global warming stuff.” Because, one day of cold/snow in March meant global warming was a big ol’ conspiracy.

    Oh, and I predict a baseball team from Chicago will *not* win the World Series this year.

  6. Lessee, USGS has posted about 15 1+ magnitude quakes in SoCal just in the last hour. And no, for some reason I didn’t feel the earthquake Sunday. Didn’t even know about it until Monday morning!

  7. I predict that when Kirk Cameron dies, all of his work done with Ray Comfort and his evangelizing for Christianity will be ignored in favor of the 24 hour news networks running a photo of Mike Seaver with the sad news that a Growing Pains star has died.

    At least, I like to pretend he’ll get the same treatment as Andrew Koenig, who actually did a lot of work for human rights that was entirely ignored by the media.

  8. I predict that I will finish a drawing tonight while watching Lost.
    Also, I predict that in the next minute, I will hear a taxi meter printing a receipt, will think of the smoke monster and momentarily be frightened.
    5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

  9. I see the Curse of Batman.

    Before the release of the next installment, I see the actor portraying the main villan of this movie will meet an untimely end. I can’t quite tell how he will expire, its kinda looking like he will be shooting a following film, and a stunt will go horribly wrong. People will then claim its the Curse of Batman.

  10. I’m seeing a Carolina Katrina.

    This hurricane season, a very powerful hurricane will strike either North or South Carolina. It will be likened to Hurricane Katrina, but the response will be much better. Some will claim it was because this struck a more affluent area, while others will claim its because FEMA learned from the mistakes of Katrina.

  11. I think I can squeeze one more out before the spirits leave me.

    I see a major sex scandal in Washington just before the elections. I can’t tell who exactly it is, but I can see that he’s a Congressman from the Midwest. The spirits are trying to shut me out. I think I can make out a state on the Great Lakes.

    That’s it. The spirits have closed up shop. They aren’t letting me see anything more for the time being, and trying to force my way this far has left me fatigued. I must go lie down.

  12. The spirits tell me a popular film or television actor will appear on television to say something horrendous and nonsensical.
    I also predict that Jenny McCarthy will suddenly come down with some kind of horrible silencing disease which I honestly had nothing to do with, really.

  13. I predict quickies in our collective future.

    I predict that I will wish I had worn different shoes by the time I finish walking home.

    I predict that I will work late, again.

    I predict that my new dice will help me win initiative.

    I predict that even if they don’t, i will pretend that they did so that I can justify buying new dice in the first place.

  14. The Republicans will relent in some of their obstruction because they can’t block it all.

    The Republicans will make some gains in November, but not as much as some predict they will because the Tea Baggers will be on outrage overload and won’t care as much.

    They will then conclude that they were not extreme enough.

    They will nominate a wackjob in 2012 (Palin).

    They will lose.

    The Becks, Rushs, etc. will fan the flames saying the election was stolen.

    Someone will try to assassinate Obama.

  15. I predict that some time within the next ten years, a celebrity will die. This celebrity will have a vowel in his or her name. There. Now I can totally get my own show in competition with infinitemonkey’s, and we can guest-star on each other’s program.

  16. You know you must be part cat. Because they haven’t found any cat bodies at Pompeii. Really. Or people didn’t keep cats as pets. Because cats never die in earthquakes. totally.

    I predict, a cat will die in an earthquake..somewhere. Like this decade.

  17. I predict that some of those treacherous politicians who have mocked the British electorate, betrayed Our Lord with their support for immorality and wickedness, and sold the country into EU SLAVERY will receive their just reward on the 6th of May, when they will be replaced with an army of the righteous who will, er, do exactly the same for the next five years.

  18. I predict that Michael Jackson will be found dead in relatively suspicious cicumstances…

    sorry, what did you say?

    Well, when the hell did that happen?

    Noone told me.

    g-ddammit.

  19. Ricky Martin will announce that he’s gay.

    Everyone will say, “Didn’t we know that already?”

    Its no big deal to come out of the closet if the closet doesn’t have a door on it.

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