• Scientists discover extraterrestrial life!

    That’s right, we can all breathe a sigh of relief — the search for extraterrestrial life in the universe is over. According to the unimpeachable India Daily, “signs of type IV extraterrestrial influence” were detected “in Abell 1835 IR1916, a galaxy 13,230 million light-years away.” I’m sure you’re all excited to see the evidence. Well.

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