That’s right, we can all breathe a sigh of relief — the search for extraterrestrial life in the universe is over. According to the unimpeachable India Daily, “signs of type IV extraterrestrial influence” were detected “in Abell 1835 IR1916, a galaxy 13,230 million light-years away.”
I’m sure you’re all excited to see the evidence. Well. See, 13.7 billion years after the Big Bang, something “went wrong” in the universe and all the lights went out because stars hadn’t been formed yet. (Please ignore for a moment that stars and galaxies formed about 300 million years after the Big Bang. Your “facts” and “science” are not welcome here.) So, the “Type IV” civilization that created the Big Bang (using their “massive inter-universe particle colliders”) had to intervene. What was the problem, exactly? Well:
The big bang created a black hole in the hyperspace â€“ our universe with three spatial dimensions and a forward moving single time dimension.
You see, you can tell it’s true because there’s a real fact right there at the end. Our universe does, in fact, currently have three spatial dimensions and one forward-moving time dimension. QED.
The galaxy Abell 1835 IR1916 is part of the “Cosmic Renaissance” that was artificially engineered by the Type IV civilization.
So, there you have it — that’s science at work! Scientists (somewhere, unnamed) observed something in nature (um, a galaxy), adopted a hypothesis (galaxy was created by aliens), tested the hypothesis (um . . .), and published the results (in the India Daily).
This science has been brought to you by India Daily, Sony, Citibank, 99acres.com, Invest in India, and Google Ads.
Cross-posted at SGU Blog!