I have some very exciting news to share: I am seeking the Democratic nomination to be President of the United States in the 2020 elections. I wasn’t going to because I have absolutely no political experience, but then I realized 47 other people are running, and one of them, Marianne Williamson, pointed out that her only qualification is that she’s an American woman. I’m an American woman. I guess I’m qualified to be president.
My first task on the campaign trail is to differentiate myself from my main opponent — Marianne Williamson herself. I believe in things like science, and critical thinking. I do not believe that vaccines are dangerous or that we can make cancer go away by wishing hard enough. There, that’s it. That’s how I’m not like Marianne Williamson. The end.
Williamson is a kook, as was immediately obvious from the debate last month during which she sounded like Katherine Hepburn after taking a particularly hefty dose of acid. But did you also know she’s a dangerous kook?
At the same event in which she said her qualification was being an American woman, Williamson said, ““To me, (the vaccine debate is) no different than the abortion debate. The US government doesn’t tell any citizen, in my book, what they have to do with their body or their child.” She then called mandatory vaccines “draconian” and “Orwellian.”
You know, it’s true, vaccines really are just like abortions. If I get an abortion, no one around me can ever get pregnant again. Wait, that can’t be right. If I don’t get an abortion, pregnancies will spread from woman to woman until everyone is pregnant. Yeah, that’s it.
What a stupid fucking argument, truly. She’s talking about bodily autonomy, but that doesn’t work for vaccines. An immunocompromised person has every right to not contract measles from you. They don’t have the ability to get a vaccine, and if you have measles, and they get it from you, they might die. Everyone has the right to not die from easily preventable diseases. It is a clear case of public safety over private bodily autonomy.
And Williamson is so incredibly wrong to say that in her book “the US government doesn’t tell any citizen what they have to do with their child.” There’s a very good reason why the government tells people to educate their children. To not lock their children in cages (unless the parents are immigrants and it’s the government locking the cages of course). To feed and clothe their children. To keep their children healthy and safe. A part of that is getting vaccinated. We live in a society, Marianne. And living in a society means occasionally sacrificing for the greater good. In this case, all you’re sacrificing is your own dumbass wrong beliefs in exchange for NOT DYING FROM DISEASES so it’s actually a pretty good trade.
When Williamson got roasted on social media, she released a statement to clarify her view on vaccines, and if you’ve ever seen an anti-vaccine kook get caught out, you already know exactly what she said, but here it is anyway, with my commentary:
“I understand that many vaccines are important and save lives.”
ALL vaccines are important and save lives. #YESALLVACCINES. You can’t pick and choose medicine like you’re at a fucking frozen yogurt buffet.
“I recognize there are epidemics around the world that are stopped by vaccines. I also understand some of the skepticism that abounds today about drugs which are rushed to market by Big Pharma.”
I also understand the skepticism. I understand it enough to know that it’s complete bullshit based on ignorance and fear. What vaccines on the current schedule were “rushed to market by Big Pharma”? Was it the MMR vaccine? Because that’s been around since the 1960s. It took researchers 10 years to isolate the measles virus and turn it into a safe and effective vaccine. Is a decade a bit too fast for Williamson? Oh, and another 30 years after that, they had successfully eliminated measles in the US. That was the year 2000, just before Jenny McCarthy, Andrew Wakefield, Oprah, and other friends of Marianne Williamson brought measles back with a vengeance by lying about a connection between MMR and autism.
“I am sorry that I made comments which sounded as though I question the validity of life-saving vaccines.”
Which ones are the life-saving ones, Williamson? Which are the ones you do question the validity of?
This is the typical bullshit we see happen whenever an anti-vaxxer gets recognized for what they are. Suddenly they’re not anti-vax, they’re a vaccine “skeptic,” just like a 9/11 skeptic or a global warming skeptic only worse because they are making children sick. It’s the normal quack rebranding. Don’t fall for it. Marianne Williamson is a dangerous, garbage human who doesn’t even deserve to be on the same stage as any of the other 36 Democratic nominee hopefuls. Not even Joe Biden. NOT EVEN JOE BIDEN deserves to have to “debate” Marianne Williamson. That’s how bad she is.