I’m on my way to Wisconsin. Tonight I’ll be drunk under the stars with Pamela Gay and a bunch of other skeptics.
On our way to my parents’ house to drop off the kids, I learned that today is International Day of Nonviolence or some shit.
This made me wonder:
Who would win in a zombie knife fight: Mother Teresa or Ghandi?
This one’s easy. Mother Teresa wins in a route. She admittedly liked to be in the presence of suffering people, and her greatest joy was to watch people die. If there’s a better description of someone I wouldn’t like to fight, I don’t know what it is.
I think Ghandi is the more principled of the two. He’d let Creepy Teresa knife him and actually turn the other cheek.
In life Mother Teresa wins easily. Gandhi had a prinicipled belief in non violence so strong he nearly starved himself to death. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu had a belief in the importance of suffering that was so strong she let others die needlessly in pain and then sought the highest quality care for herself that other peoples money could buy.
If they are both mindless zombies though Gandhi would win after all he did have a moustache. Everyone knows that moustaches give zombies super-powers (see Rob Zombie).
I believe this, as in most fights, would come down to size and “reach”.
While the Abess’ studier frame and low center of gravity would allow her to absorb more punishment, the Mahatma’s reach and footwork clearly give him the advantage.
Their differing fighting styles typified by Sonny Listen and Ali, where Ali’s looser more fluid style and better footwork paid dividends.
So I’m plumbing for Ghandi.
Gandhi. Seen him on U-62.
(the movie “UHF” ;-) )
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/92669/gandhi_2_uhf_classic_video/
If Mother Theresa can get him off his feet, the Pope will make an exception and elevate her to sainthood with only a two-count.
HJ
Anyone remember who survived longer, the wax-droid Gandhi or the wax-droid Mother Teresa in the Red Dwarf ep? I think I remember MT storming a machine gun nest with a Browning M1919 on her hip near the end, just after Gandhi trod on a mine, meaning MT either has a stronger survival instinct or is luckier. Either way, my money’s on her.
Gotta be the old MT,
For Gandhi be,
More decomposed than she.
She has the head start,
As he’s more fallen apart,
And time has made his moustache depart.
Hey, I’M in Wisconsin. I’ll be the one waving as you drive by. Look to your right.
I think a zombie knife would make a pretty lousy weapon in a Holier-Than-Thou fight. It would be like trying to stab someone with a piece of raw liver.
The knife is a red herring, since neither would use them. Ghandi’s weapon of choice has always been the hunger strike. Mother Theresa on the other hand, can sustain herself on the cinnamon rolls in her likeness, so she will hold out the longest. And when Ghandi dies, she will eat his Braaains!
Mother Teresa. That rotten old goat would tear up Ghazondi like it was her job.
@russellsugden: COTW
The audience.
@Buzz:
http://vinovo.magnify.net/video/RED-DWARF-Crveni-Patuljak-TV-Hu/theater
Gandi was out at 22:35.
The Queen did in the enemies at 23:07.
I didn’t see MT in the final battle.
How fitting that I just finished listening to the audio version of “World War Z”, which I highly recommend.
Apart from the general awesomeness of the story, Star Wars fans get an additional treat: Mark Hamill gives a great voice performance as a Zombie Apocalypse combat veteran, and swears like a sailor about every ten seconds.
I think that Mother Teresa was one of the two wax droids who melted in training.
So my money’s still on Gandhi!
;->
MoT keeps the knife and MaG stays passive. The little slum witch wins.
@JeffGrigg: Thanks Jeff,
I think MT buys it a few seconds after Gandhi at 22:46. She’s got a tommy gun, Santa Claus has the Browning.