Conspiracies, Orgasms and the COTW!
Reminder: nominate your favorite comments by logging in, clicking the little arrow next to them, and writing â€œCOTWâ€ somewhere in your response!
In response to the claim that the oil spill was a big ol’ conspiracy orchestrated by BP and the Feds, Gabriel gave us this insightful gem:
Iâ€™m not saying that Randall rapes kittens and then eats them while they are still alive. I donâ€™t have any proof that he sold secrets to the Russians when he was in the Navy. I canâ€™t think of any reason why he would kidnap suburban housewives and sell them to donkey show managers in Mexico. I donâ€™t have any facts that would point to the fact that he is actually a reptillian alien from the planet Mongo who is actually a sleeper agent for an all out invasion that will put all christians in chains. I canâ€™t think of anything that would in any way prove that he enjoys being saddlebacked by horses. All I am saying is that these all need to be investigated and publicized. If for no other reason that it will prove or disprove the rumor that he likes to smear himself in dog shit and run naked howling down mainstreet under the full moon. It just needs to be investigated.
And I’m not saying that I kidnapped Rebecca and hid her in my closet so that I could pick the COTW this week but someone might want to investigate.
There was also lot of talk this week about atheists not having any fun and that the god-free are a bunch of sad saps hiding the dark and crying in their milkshakes (or whatever sad people drink.) Once you give up superstition you give up fun and happiness and it’s dark and gloomy and it rains all day in your brain, right? Well, I’m not the girl to answer this question since I was raised without religion but I’d like to think that the following runner-up quote from laurae is true for all who leave their religion behind.
For the record, not only am I happier as an atheist, but I have WAY better orgasms.
I’m not saying skeptics and the god-free have better orgasms than the religious folks, but maybe we should.
At the very least, it needs to be investigated. ;)
Have a great weekend everyone!
it would be sooo difficult to come up with a control group of religionists tho…..double blind test.. oh wait, they are already blinded by faith. FelgerKarb!
I keep trying to investigate, but the results are not consistent. Unfortunately, any attempt to increase my sample size will likely result in a sudden loss of my grant.
If I knew talking about orgasms would get me COTW I’d have started talking about them long ago. I’ll make a mental note. Thanks ladies!
@JSug: COTW – A solid string of metaphoric hilarity. Well played.
I will try to have safe, consensual sex with both religionists and atheists this summer, and ask them to write down a few words about their eventual orgasm.
If I succeed at that, I expect to have finished my report on Orgasmic Differences Between Non-Believers and Believers by the middle of August. :)
BTW, I would be more than happy to assist in the orgasm investigation, you know, for the science aspect of it.
To me , especially as a rabid sports fan, the COTW came from outside the forum.
Ron Artest, who has had a troublesome past, who probably has bipolar disorder, plays for the Lakers, who recently won the NBA championship.
After hearing athlete after athlete after athlete after athlete thank God in post game interviews, Ron Artest after winning a championship said ( amongst many other things ),
“I’d like to thank my psychiatrist.”
All I could say to myself was, “Hot fuckin’ damn! ”
He nailed the Christian Scientists and religious fundalmentalists of all kinds in just one sentence.
COTW – Ron Artest!
I don’t think Artest made the Scientologists happy either. Always a plus.
Way to go big Gabe! You da man.
@halincoh: I missed that, good stuff.
@halincoh: That makes me happy on SO many levels. Awesome!
And now that I know that, I’m totally going to go light something on fire and maybe throw something at a cop. (That’s what you do when your team kicks ass in LA . FYI)
@phlebas: Yes, yes … I MEANT the ScienTOLOGISTS
@Amy: enjoy the burning and chucking … wear your rubbers
Logically, it stands to reasons that our orgasms should be better, or at the very least, longer. Christians having orgasms cry out, “Oh, God!” while atheists cry out, “Oh, nobody!” (twice the syllables), or even “Oh, reason-backed-by-observation-and-verified-using-the-scientific-method!”
And that’s a mighty fine orgasm, indeed.
I don’t understand this obsession with better organisms. Surely evolution is taking care of that?
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