As most of you know, I have big plans to one day buy an island for the Skepchicks. We’ll all live together on this island, doing Skepchicky things like flying around the world to fight woo and talking anthropology in the hot tub.
Aside from the obvious residents, I’ve picked out a couple of pediatricians (Dr. Jennifer from the Chicago skeptics and Dr Joe Albietz of General Awesomeness Hospital in Colorado) to join us on the island as well as our pilot (Joe Anderson). There’s more positions to be filled for sure! I haven’t even picked a bartender!
To run and live on our private island, what kind of help will we need? Who should we hire?
The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) be a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear daily at 3pm ET.
You’ll need a cool IT person. And since the Mac is the computer of choice among skeptics, I just so happen to be Apple certified and have over 10 years experience with them, mostly exclusively. :)
And I’ll pick up the Windows/Linux cases. You know… issues with real computers. :P
Will astronom for food! Or a place to live. Yeah, that’s the extend of my “usefulness.” I can probably bartend on the side!
You need a hot tub repairman, surely.
You already have a pilot? Darn it!
Unless it’s right next door to a metro area, then you’ll definitely need somebody with mechanical (engine) skills.
And definitely an electrician.
Somebody who can sew and make clothes–design clothes would be even better, although that may be a different person.
Some people to chop and split wood.
@Craig:
We’re not castaways! We can still buy clothes and firewood from the mainland… we’ll just send Joe and some Island interns to go get us stuff.
We’ll need a bookstore and a library, of course.
@Elyse: And of course there is the interbuts.
You’ll need plenty of children to work the mines. That is, unless the island has an indigenous population, in which case you can use them.
I am a Hedge
@marilove:
Right, we’ll need lube.
I worked at Subway one summer back in college. Every private island should have a resident Sandwich Artist, right?
As you all know, its the administrative assistants who keep everything going. I can make sure that Elyse’s bar time doesn’t interfere with Jen’s sun-bathing time, which doesn’t interfere with Sam’s skinny dipping time…
If that doesn’t work, then, someone’s going have to serve you your drinks. I don’t think you would want to get up every time you wanted a new Buzzed Aldrin or Burden of 80 proof, so, you’ll need a server in addition to the bar tender.
And if that doesn’t work, how about just a token gay man. Someone to vent to Stacey steals Tracey’s man, or A and Masala get into a tiff over who’s the hotter skeptic. You know, that gay gal pall every woman needs.
You would need monkey butlers.
First there would be one, but he will train the others
OMfsm, I have this list at home! Crap! I’m pretty sure it involves Kari Byron, George Hrab, Neil Degrasse Tyson, and Les Stroud.
I’ve accumulated a number of skills over the years: electronic engineering, computer programming, data analysis, electrical wiring, plumbing, photoshoppery, bodging, pool cleaning, cheese cake baking, fried chicken making, iced tea brewing, diaper changing, booboo fixing, bedtime story reading, paper airplane folding… The list goes on and on.
I could do the bartending, provided I’m allowed to experiment a bit. I’ll need my safety goggles and fire-retardant apron, though.
You will need someone to grill…..I am your man!
@Steve: brown noser!
Perhaps I can be the islands resident poet. You know, to inspire… things.
I already nominated Joe Anderson for bartender, but he’ll need a backup for when he’s flying :)
Perhaps I can serve as the village idiot? ;-) I can train and handle animals, too. Not sure about Jeebus’s dinosaur, though.
@marilove: interbuts? I don’t think I want to go there.
@Masala: Oooh Oooh! I’m not current, but I’m a pilot, too.
@infinitemonkey: What a coincidence! We’ll need a brown noser!
I, uh… I have boobies. Is that a help?
I give absolutely awesome massages.
I volunteer myself as hurricane forecaster. I promise to at least be as accurate as the current experts.
Well it’s looks like almost everything I’m good at is already taken.
How about someone to polish your grapes?
@Elxina: Blue footed, Red footed or Masked?
I volunteer to own the bakery. Cakes, tarts, cookies, breads. You name it, I’ll bake it.
I can also sew if we decide to make costumes.
Did someone say bookstore? Or, even better, boutique publishing house producing limited edition, beautifully bound copies of the greatest works of science and skepticism.
The pricier books would fund the inexpensively produced nearly-give-them-away department that would strive to get these works into libraries, schools and broke seekers of truth.
Because they are inexpensively produced we could also make fun little volumes like Lancaster’s Guide to Psychics orMusings of the Skepchicks. Since being published was a given, writing could be a hobby on the island.
Alternately, I can cat wrangle.
@Peregrine: I’m sorry, no brown-nosing time has been scheduled. The skepchicks are completely booked. I’ll see if I can work you in between Amy’s massage and Evelyn’s confection tasting, but I can’t make any promises.
@faith: I likes me hot tarts.
I didn’t volunteer as librarian because I figured it was going to be a well-filled niche.
I think my housemates & I could be useful: one MBA w/office admin & code-monkey wrangling experience, one artist/illustrator/pilot, one Mac network wrangler & graphics production geek. We also cook, clean, make coffee, tea, and cordials. (You know, once they retire Fermilab, selectively flooding the inside of the ring would make a really nice lake w/an island… plus, you know, *particle beams*.)
@Bookitty: Alternately, I can cat wrangle.
If you can get a cat to do something it does not want to do your powers are wasted on an island.
Poolboys.
Cuz we need our pools clean…
But mostly to bring us drinks (like Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters).
Since the fundies will attack relentlessly, you’ll need someone to keep us safe. Like me, I am a CISSP — I can keep those Mac and Windows admins in line with the countermeasures we’ll need.
Well, if I get replaced as an admin assist, I’m not above being the receptionist:
@Outsider: 15 years of Mac IT experience, former Apple employee, and current certified tech employed full time in repairs and maintenance. I’d say between the two of us we can build one hell of a cool setup for the geekosphere. :)
@Peregrine: The Linux boxes can be called real, and I’d welcome them, but Windows can’t even zip a file without third party help. And Malware? Don’t get me started! :p
[/obligatory Mac/PC flame]
And no, I don’t intend to derail the thread any further – it’s a pavlovian response ;)
There seems to be two questions here. 1), which I chose to answer the first time, was what skill set needs to be hired for the island. 2), which isn’t what was asked but most people are assuming, is “why should we hire you, the commenter, for the island”. Since everyone else is answering question 2, I will too.
I can be the sci-fi librarian; I will bring the library myself.
Sounds like pilot is covered. I can back them up, plus I’ll maintain anything aviation-related on the island (landing strip, maintainence facilities).
I can set up and maintain the home-theater setups of the denizens of the island.
I give reasonable back/shoulder/neckrubs.
Any physics that needs to be done, I’m on it. And differential equations.
I like to argue–most any type of topic, either side.
@Kahomono: Will you shoot smart bombs at morons?
The bad news is that I don’t have an exciting job like Sandwich Artist. The good news is that I am essential.
You will need someone to coordinate the supply chain and purchasing; otherwise your bartender would have nothing to pour, your sandwiches would be wish sandwiches, and your IT administrator would be making a phone system out of coconuts.
I can also train camels, mow lawns, and qualified as expert with rifle and grenade when I was in the army (you know…just in case…)
@durnett: HELLO! Haven’t you ever seen Giligan’s Island!? What do you think all those inventions were made out of?
I’ve got to say, this Skepchick Island thing is sounding really reasonable. It’s possible that it’s only because I’m working on 4 hours sleep but really, it sounds reasonable.
Does anyone know of any uninhabited islands we might be able to settle?
BTW – durnett – I’ll need a couple hundred pounds of flour, sugar and butter just to start. Thx.
@Aaron:
Are there Perfectly Normal Beasts on the island?