A few days ago I found the cure for the common cold. This week I have single-handedly solved global warming.
The answer to the big issue of energy conservation isâ€¦
Or rather, no toast.
Think about it. Toast is cooked bread. But bread is already cooked! Why are we wasting energy by double-cooking something thatâ€™s already perfectly delicious and edible as it is?
Electricity is generated by burning fossil fuels in a turbine, which emits carbon dioxide and contributes to global warming. Powering a toaster produces about 1kg of CO2 per hour.
In the UK alone, there are 30 million people tucking into toast every day. Letâ€™s say thatâ€™s five minutes of toasting time per person. Thatâ€™s 2,500,000 toasting hours per day, which produces 2500 tons of CO2. Now add in all the toast from the rest of the world. That’s a huge amount of CO2 just from crunchifying your bread!
Next time youâ€™re thinking of tucking into a slice of tasty, hot buttered toast, WONâ€™T YOU THINK OF THE PLANET?
This post was brought to you by the Sandwich Defence League.