Skepticism

Finding a New Home for my Meth Lab

I’m on the hunt for a new apartment, and with two cats and a need for two offices, it hasn’t been easy. Luckily, I found one on Craigslist that was huge and cheap! Three bedrooms, a balcony, working fireplace, and a sitting room, in a great neighborhood, all for several hundreds of dollars less than comparable apartments. I emailed immediately!

from Rebecca Watson
to [email protected]
date Tue, Dec 13, 2011 at 6:20 PM
subject 3BR listing on Craigslist

Hi! My partner and I are interested in the apartment. Could we come take a look some time this week? You can reach me at this email or my cell is (xxx) xxx-xxxx. Thanks!

Rebecca Watson

+++

from Tyrone Davis [email protected]
to Rebecca Watson
date Wed, Dec 14, 2011 at 7:00 AM
subject Re: 3BR listing on Craigslist

Hi,
I did get your response concerning the AD I posted on craigslist. The house is still available but presently I’m not around.. I did bid for a portion of petroleum land sometimes ago in West Africa and fortunately I won the bidding so I have to move quickly down to Africa to have my company set up because I will still have to rabid for it in the next 10 years. I came over here with my wife, we both bought the house when we got married. As soon as we settle down here I had a thought of selling the house so I have to look for an agent, after getting one, we got a deal but later my wife advised against that. She said we may not be able to win the bidding next time, in other to keep our head when we return that we have to keep the house. I reasoned with her and accepted her advise. So I contacted the agent back and requested for my keys and documents. Later we decided to have the house rent out, we would have give the same agent this job also but the truth of the matter is that the agent would want to handle it professionally and the occupant may not be able to reason along with him later. If you notice, you will discovered that the price we are offering is far below standard price, this is enough for you to know that we are not after the rental fee but the absolute care for the property. I know there is no way I can be sure that you are the right person to live in the house because we won’t be able to see physical before sending you the keys and the documents to occupy the space. But I just had a feeling that anyone who knows what it takes to put the kind of structure down should know that maintaining a building is mandatory, so if you belief you can take good care of the house and handle it like yours then I will be more than happy to let you rent the house.Please if you are ready now to occupy the house kindly provide the information below for record purpose.

********RENT APPLICATION FORM*********

PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF
Full Name__________________________________________________ Home Phone ( ) ________________________
Date of Birth_________________________________
Other Phone ( ) ___________________
Current Address_______________________________Apt#________ City__________________ State______ Zip________
Reasons for Leaving____________________________Rent $__________Phone ( ) ____________________________
Are you married____________________________
How many people will be living in the house____________________________
How many people will be living in the house____________________________
Do you have a pet____________________________
Do you have a car____________________________
Occupation____________________________
Move In Date____________________________

TAKE NOTE: YOU CAN ONLY DRIVE BY AND SEE MY HOUSE FROM THE OUTSIDE AND IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN RENTING GET THE APPLICATION FORM FILLED OUT AND SEND IT BACK TO ME SO THAT I CAN SHIP MY KEYS TO YOU FOR YOU BE ABLE TO GO AND LOOK AT THE INSIDE OR MOVE IN IMMEDIATELY. I WOULD HAVE REALLY LOVE TO SHIP THE KEYS TO SOMEONE IN STATE BUT I DON’T HAVE ANYBODY THERE RIGHT NOW AND I DON’T WANT TO MAKE USE OF ANY THIRD PARTY THAT IS WHY AM HANDLING MY PROPERTY MYSELF..

House Address
XXX XXXXX Street
Monthly Fee ; $800
Security Deposit: $800
Pets Allowed:
Available :Available Now for move in.

So pls get back to me today.
I await your reply ASAP.
Regard and God bless you!!!
Davis Tyrone
+2347026833907
0112347082290058

+++

from Skepchick [ed: at this point I switched to my work address, because this is now work]
to Tyrone Davis
date Wed, Dec 14, 2011 at 9:53 AM
subject Re: 3BR listing on Craigslist

Hi Tyrone! Congrats on winning your petroleum land. I drove by to check out the house and you’re right, it’s great! Here’s the application:

********RENT APPLICATION FORM*********

PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF
Full Name: Rebecca Gangstafugga
Home Phone ( 716 ) 847-2255 [ed: local police number]
Date of Birth 6/31/51
Current Address: 74 Franklin Street [ed: local police address]
City: Buffalo
State: NY
Zip: 14202
Reasons for Leaving: Need more space for four new dogs and meth lab
Rent $9000
Are you married: No
How many people will be living in the house: 6, including security
How many people will be living in the house: Wait I mean 7
Do you have a pet: yes
Do you have a car: yes
Occupation: Meth producer/distributor
Move In Date: ASAP

God bless you too if you sneezed!

+++

from Tyrone Davis [email protected]
to Skepchick
date Wed, Dec 14, 2011 at 11:45 AM
subject RENTAL APPLICATION FORM ACCEPTE GET BACK TO ME!!!!!!

Hello,
I have go through your application form that you filled and everything is okay by us, well we just want you to know that you can live there as long as you want,also you can move out anytime you want..But you just need to inform us a month before you leave, so that i can be able to look for another good tenant.We are very exited and willing to let you move in our house as soon as possible and i have conclude with my family on accepting payment for the first month rent which is $800 and a security deposit of $800 which is sum of $1,600 to move in as soon as you are ready.just get back to me with mailing address where The package containing the keys and documentations of the house will be delivered to you through Courier Service,and you have to pay some payment to hold the house if you are not ready to move into the house now.just for us to be convinced that you really want to rent the house and you want us to keep the house for you.you are to decide if you will pay the deposit or the first month rent first,So get back to me to know where we will be sending the keys and the document to and i want you to know that you can rich me at my cell phone number at any time +2347026833907 or you can also dial it this way by 0112347082290058 just dial it the way i type it OK.
Thanks and God Bless you…..
Awaiting to hear back from you…………..

+++

from Skepchick
to Tyrone Davis
date Wed, Dec 14, 2011 at 11:55 AM
subject Re: RENTAL APPLICATION FORM ACCEPTE GET BACK TO ME!!!!!!

That’s great news, Tyrone! However, I just have a few questions:

1. When can I view the inside of the house? Obviously I’ll want to check that out before I put down any money.

2. Is it okay that I use one of the bedrooms for my meth lab? Some landlords seem to have an issue with this. I understand it can be tricky if one doesn’t take the proper precautions, but I’ve been doing a lot of studying (watching Breaking Bad, staring at my periodic table shower curtain, etc) and I’m confident that I can do it with very little mess.

3. Can I pay the rent in cash? Most of my income is in the form of stacks of $100 bills, and for a variety of reasons I’d rather not go into right now, I’m not able to deposit it in a bank account. So, I’d have to send you like a big manilla envelope full of cash. If that concerns you I could pay for a year in advance.

Let me know!

Rebecca

+++

There’s been no response yet, but I’m going to keep my hopes up. I hope he wasn’t upset that I was calling him “Tyrone,” since I realized later that he signed his first email “Davis Tyrone.”

To Gmail’s credit, they flagged his last email as suspicious. I’m not sure how it was any more suspicious than the first, but good on them.

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca leads a team of skeptical female activists at Skepchick.org. She travels around the world delivering entertaining talks on science, atheism, feminism, and skepticism. There is currently an asteroid orbiting the sun with her name on it. You can follow her every fascinating move on Twitter or on Google+.

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21 Comments

      1. The ad I followed up on actually was for a relatively nice space. Track lighting, hardwood floor, washer/dryer inside the apt, reasonable rent. Unfortunately, it was across the street from a massive junk yard, surrounded by empty lots. I pictured what kind of desolation would confront me as I worked the graveyard shift. In fact, the projects I walked by when I got off the J train looked far more preferable.

      1. Oh? Well my only exposure to him was his TAM7 presentation, so he may very well be douchey.

        PS in checking my spelling of “douchey” I found that Urban Dictionary once again nails it!

        Douchey
        1. Having characteristics of or pertaining to a douche.

  1. Ha! I had an exchange like that a few years ago. I had put an ad on the local online classified advertising my services as a bagpiper. I got a very generic e-mail requesting my services as advertised. I replied that I needed to know where, when, how long, and what they wanted me to play. They replied that the gig was in Denver Colorado (I’m in northern British COlumbia, Canada). I told them that there were plenty of bagpipers in Colorado and I could set them up, but they refused and said that they only wanted me. At this point, they still hadn’t given me a date, or what it was for, or any other details). They just kept asking how much it would be. So I drafted up a budget that included my first class airfare to Denver, the most expensive hotel I could find (I even researched it!), an exorbitant performance fee, and rental of an elephant. They replied that was fine, where to send the money?

    I told them where to go.

  2. He blessed you (or asked god to bless you? – I’m not sure how that works?) 3 times. Apparently the scammers think if they invoke divine powers enough times, people will trust them. Or did you just sneeze on your keyboard?

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