Skepticism

Why I will never be invited to the Oscars

I watched the Oscars last night, mostly because it’s tradition, and I enjoy Jon Stewart. The show was generally amusing, though I could have done without the 87 montages (I know, I know…the writers’ strike). I thought it was funny that all of the people I thought looked particularly sexy or interesting or stunning are being ripped today by the media and have been consigned to the “worst dressed” lists.
The critic in the local newspaper this morning complained that Tilda Swinton needs to find a new makeup person. What?! I thought she looked strikingly hot with the red hair and minimal makeup. Any more would just have gotten in the way. I think people have issues with her androgyny…I happen to love it. And her acceptance speech was completely punk rock.
Then there were the various and sundry complaints that Viggo Mortensen/Colin Farrell/Daniel Day Lewis should clean up better/lose the earrings/wear dress shoes instead of combat boots/etc. Since when did it become uncool to have a personal sense of style? Personally, I think people laugh at the “worst dressed” because they secretly wish they had the balls to be different.
Somewhere in my wardrobe, there is a beige spandex bell-bottomed catsuit with leopards (not leopard print, but actual leopards) on it, and mark my words: If I ever get to go to the Academy Awards, I will wear it, along with some huge, tacky, platform shoes and a mullet wig. And I will be fabulous.

Related Articles

18 Comments

  1. I haven't seen Michael Clayton yet, but I was excited with Tilda Swinton won just because she was so hot in that outfit/with that hair… and because she seemed like the last person the people doing the "pre show" on the RED CARPET would want to talk to.

    Also, note that the person in your local newspaper doesn't have enough talent or sexiness to get to Hollywood themselves. Definitely envy.

  2. You are aware of the fact that such a comment demands a photo or an appearance of said outfit in the Skepchick calendar?

    uh oh…what have i gotten myself into?

    i will definitely trot out something wacky for tam 6…

  3. Viggo Mortensen would look good in anything. Even a beige spandex bell-bottomed catsuit with leopards on it, although I confess I would prefer him in something slightly scruffy in black.

    amen to that.

  4. I'm a straight dude, and I'd probably still do Viggo Mortensen in a spandex bell-bottomed catsuit with leopards on it.

    Heck, drawing from the afforementioned list of scruffy/non-fashionable dudes, if you threw in Daniel Day-Lewis I'd change that 'probably' to a 'definitely'.

    That said, give me Marion Cotillard AND Tilda Swinton and I'm BEYOND cool with that.

  5. “Somewhere in my wardrobe, there is a beige spandex bell-bottomed catsuit with leopards (not leopard print, but actual leopards) on it”

    You are aware of the fact that such a comment demands a photo or an appearance of said outfit in the Skepchick calendar?

    And I don’t think Jon Stewart would mind narrating through a fashion parade of all the Skepchicks (and Skepdudes) on their nuttiest outfits ;)

  6. Even though I haven't seen Michael Clayton yet, I will celebrate any recognition of how awesome Tilda Swinton is. I've loved her ever since Orlando, where she did play both a woman and a man in the same film.

  7. Even though I haven’t seen Michael Clayton yet, I will celebrate any recognition of how awesome Tilda Swinton is. I’ve loved her ever since Orlando, where she did play both a woman and a man in the same film.

    i need to see that one. i thought she was completely sexy as gabriel in constantine.

  8. You are aware of the fact that such a comment demands a photo or an appearance of said outfit in the Skepchick calendar?

    I think an appearance at TAM6 would be sufficient. If enough people wear something wacky, those not especially dressed will be the ones sticking out.

    Not-wearing-makeup is Tilda Swinton’s _thing_. Asking her to wear more makeup is like asking Clarke Gable to shave of his moustache.

    You can see just how clueless people are if they are suggesting people wear MORE make-up. Perhaps that's just an American thing, but I personally find it a turn-off if you can actually see the make-up caked onto a woman's face. Yet this seems to be what most American women want to look like when walking around on the street.

    Whenever kissing them, I kinda worry if it's going to be like eating a frosted donut, with foundation and blush transferring all over your face.

    With regards to make-up, you could take some advice from European women: less is more.

    (At least the appearance of less)

  9. exarch, i think we should totally turn tam 6 into a fancy dress party. i, for one, will take any excuse to throw on a costume (i don't know if anyone has noticed, but my current avatar is of me dressed as doctor who–yes, i know i am hopelessly geeky).

    if i can find the leopard number i will absolutely wear it.

    about the makeup thing, i think the problem is that most american women use make-up to hide their faces instead of using it to accentuate certain features. i very rarely put make-up on, but when i do, it is mostly just eye and lip color. i abhor foundation. i happen to like my freckly face.

  10. Out of all the beards, Viggo's was the best. (Love him.) This is the first time I saw some of the fashion commentators note that the Ms. Swenson and Cody and Viggo were justified in their choices – they are edgy and artsy and stayed true to themselves by what they wore.

  11. carr2d2, that's so true about the American approach to make-up. I wear matte powder, blush, and mascara every day, and a little neutral-toned lipstick if I'm in the mood. I get asked now and then why I "never" wear makeup, so I know I'm doing it right. I feel like I should look like a slightly smoother, more awake version of myself, not someone totally different.

    Now, if I'm going to be wearing black and under stage lights, all bets are off … that much light tends to make fair-skinned people look like death not warmed over, so I generally show up for performances in what I refer to as my "painted Jezebel" look. ;)

  12. carr2d2 wrote:

    i don’t know if anyone has noticed, but my current avatar is of me dressed as doctor who–yes, i know i am hopelessly geeky

    Sorry, all I see is some cartoon-like avatar.

Leave a Reply

You May Also Enjoy

Close
Close