Call to Action: Skepchick Island
The Skepchicks need an island. We know it. You know it. In fact, Oprah, Jenny McCarthy and Uri Gellar all know it. Without our island, we lack power… I mean, we have power, but it’s weakened since it’s diluted across the entire western world.
But now, you can help. All we need is money. And you can donate.
Today we launch the campaign to buy Skepchick Island. And here’s the catch: there’s no catch! You can donate as much or as little as you want… but until we raise the entire $50million, you don’t get charged a dime. No one loses! Except Kirk Cameron.
What do you do? Just pledge your money and your love to our cause!
The suggested donation is $1,000,000 but any amount is appreciated.
If the donation widget below isn’t working, you can donate to The Skepchick Island Campaign at ThePoint.com.
Questions:
Will this be like those pledge breaks on public television? Those are very annoying.
Where is this island specifically?
Who can come to the island for visits?
Lastly, do you take post dated checks?
What about political structure? How will justice be administered?
@anonentity:
Will this be like those pledge breaks on public television? Those are very annoying.
Probably… but with more boobs and alcohol to make it less annoying
Where is this island specifically?
The exact location cannot be disclosed at this time. Mostly because we need the funds in order to put in a serious bid for an island.
Who can come to the island for visits?
Anyone… but not pirates. Unless they’re awesome pirates who come to share their booty.
Lastly, do you take post dated checks?
You put in a pledge… that money stays with you until we receive the full $50million in pledges. No post-dating necessary!
@Rav Winston:
Rebecca is the queen. Justice will probably involve beer bongs.
Here’s my suggestion.
http://www.privateislandsonline.com/thatchcay.htm
@Rav Winston: Drunken anarchy of course.
If Thatch Cay doesn’t work out, might I suggest one of the islands of Svalbard? It’s Norway’s answer to The Bahamas!
I dreamed I was on Skepchick Island once.
I was standing on a pyramid, in sort-of sun-god robes while thousands of naked woman threw little pickles at me.
No, wait, that was Val Kilmer in Real Genius that had that dream.
Mine had a much simpler plot.
@Rav Winston: “How will justice be administered?”
Spankings.
@Elyse: Anyone… but not pirates. Unless they’re awesome pirates who come to share their booty.
Or shake their booty.
“Anyone… but not pirates. Unless they’re awesome pirates who come to share their booty”
Oh, the inappropriate comments I refuse to make but just can’t stop thinking.
What’s the life span of this island if the water level continues to rise at the current rate?
@Nicole: And after the spankings, the oral sex.
Some important questions that need to be cleared up first:
What’s the island going to be named? I mean, Skepchick Island is descriptive and all, but I think we can do better.
Also, will it be a separate country? Maybe a combination U.S./U.K. territory, given that Rebecca is now presumably a citizen in both. And us Yankee nerds are pretty big fans of Dawkins, Doctor Who, Hitchhiker’s Guide, etc.
Finally, and most importantly, what will the flag look like? It should probably have boobs and booze. And unicorns and rainbows and bacon.
@Zapski: Maybe a little bit of peril….
“I mean, we have power, but it’s weakened since it’s diluted across the entire western world”
According to homeopathy, don’t you have this backwards? We ought to be diluting things further so before long, you will have power over the entire Universe, let alone the mere western world!
How about a design contest: set up different design catagories (flag, architecture, quasi-futuristic uniforms). Winners get… ?
@Skept-artist:
How about some of you cheap bastards pledge some money so we have a place to fly our flag!
@Elyse: I think @Marilove will back me up on this, but according to Eddie Izzard you need a flag FIRST, then you can take over the land.
@Skept-artist: I’m afraid that’s correct.
@Zapski: Thank you, my post-vital friend. I’ll still donate, even though Elyse made me cry a little bit.
@Skept-artist:
Why can’t our flag be our underwear?
And if Eddie Izzard knows so much about founding a country, why doesn’t he have his own country yet?
@Skept-artist:
Oh, and thanks… you get to sleep in the 72 virgins guest suite when you come visit. There’s not really 72 virgins in there… unless you don’t count anal.
@Elyse: I’m sold on the underwear, “Salute your Shorts”!
Eddie Izzard doesn’t have his own country yet because he doesn’t have a flag. See how that works?
And thanks for the invite for the 72 ‘virgins’ guest suite. Now I’m crying for a different reason.
@Zapski: And after the spankings, the oral sex.
Well, I could stay a bit longer.
What about political structure?
We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune! We’re taking turns to act as a sort of executive-officer-for-the-week…But all the decisions *of* that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting…By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs…But by a two-thirds majority, in the case of more major…
You’re fooling yourself! We’re living in a dictatorship!
@Garrison22:
I answered that already. It’s Rebecca’s monarchy.
@Elyse: Monty Python FAIL
@Skept-artist:
Yeah… I’m not really a nerd… I’ve never been into Monty Python.
@Garrison22: Given those in question, I could be all behind a regime based on watery tarts.
Behind… and a number of other prepositions.
@Elyse: That’s cool. I was scratching my head at all of the references in the movie adaptation AI from the other day.
Well, I’m not interested in pledging unless it’s a fairly warm island. What’s the point of an island full of godless, immoral women if they have to wear heavy wool clothing all the time?
Apart from money, can I donate professional massage expertise? I have a table and linens and all sorts of accoutrements.
My wife would kill me.
Elyse, you are doing this all wrong. You really need to get the cash up front. I suggest a neutral escrow, which I will be happy to be on your behalf. Tell everyone to send their money directly to me and I’ll let you know when you have enough.
Really, I’ll let you know. And really, I won’t touch it (but that’s what I say to all the ladies).
@Imrryr: If Svalbard is the answer, I don’t want to know the question.
@N47W122: Well I like the name of the island…
Um…maybe its because its midnight, but I can’t tell if this is real or sarcasm. Elyse’s sarcasm is so over the top, I can usually tell. But this is oddly over the top, and feasible at the same time. Sorry, just being skeptical. Also, I’m just stalling because I don’t want to unass the money, but I’m trying to buy a house, so I’m hoarding cash. Mom’s not getting anything from me for birthday or christmas this year.
InfiniteMonkey- that’s the thing! Unless we
raise the FULL $50million your donation is as hypothetical as the island.
If we do raise the full fiddymill, you can sleep easy knowing that your Skepchicks are drunkenly pillowfighting on their own private island thanks to you!
If I donate will I be guaranteed a trip to Skepchick Island for as long as I want to stay as a thank you for donating?
This may not be an island, but the name is ready made, Humansville, Missouri . It’s a sleepy little town about 90 minutes outside of Kansas City.