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Transcript:
Okay, yes, usually I jump straight into the video’s topic but obviously today I need to start with some personal news: I’ve gone back to my natural hair color. Yes, two years ago I decided to grow my hair out because I was curious to see how many greys I had earned, and I was a bit disappointed that there were only two or three. Also I learned that I still have little to no interest in spending time doing boring things like washing, drying, and styling long hair. Finally, I decided that even though I don’t believe in the supernatural, maybe all this fascism stuff happened because I changed my hairstyle, and so as I joked on Bluesky, going back to my preferred color of both hair AND wine should start to put things back to normal.
Much to my surprise, it seemed that I might have been right. As I left for the salon, I learned that Scott Adams, prolific racist MAGA weirdo, had died of prostate cancer. So I thought that it would be fun if, for my first video back with my old hair color, we talked a little bit about that. Particularly, let’s talk about how Scott Adams was absolutely completely out of his gourd. Like, whatever weird or distasteful thing you already know about Adams? It’s not even close to how weird and distasteful this man was.
I’m going to start with the stuff more people probably already know and work down to the truly esoteric triviabert. That’s what we Adams heads call little known facts about Scott Adams: triviabert.
Anyway, Adams first got famous in the 1990s when his comic strip Dilbert got national syndication. Dilbert satirized the bland and mindless office culture at the time, which in retrospect didn’t age very well. Like, yeah, cubicles suck, right? Having your own little room where you can work without people staring at you? You know what sucks worse? Open office layouts where you don’t even necessarily get a desk. But sure, cubicles bad. Whatever.
Immediately upon reaching famehood, Scott Adams pulled what’s known in the comics world as a “Reverse Watterson.” He sold Dilbert to anyone and everyone: there were books, calendars, a TV show, a Flash game, and of course a Dillberito microwave meal, which came in flavors like “Mexican” and “Indian.” He also began venturing outside of office satire and talking about everything else in his head, like how he thought he stopped getting promoted at his former office jobs because of black people, and how he thought the Dilbert TV show got canceled because of black people, and how he thought that black people are a hate group and white people should get the hell away from them. I guess that’s why the Dilberito never had an “African” flavor.
He was also questioning the Holocaust on his blog as early as 2006, saying that the “6 million Jews killed” number may have just been “pulled out of (someone’s) ass and it became true by repetition.”
Adams was also known early on for hating women. In 2011, he wrote a blog post saying that “The reality is that women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. It’s just easier this way for everyone. You don’t argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn’t eat candy for dinner. You don’t punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don’t argue when a women tells you she’s only making 80 cents to your dollar. It’s the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.”
Unsurprisingly, in 2015 Adams revealed that he was a huge Donald Trump fan, cheering on every racist, misogynistic thing he said. He hated Clinton because she was a woman, writing on his blog that watching her and Alicia Keys at the Democratic National Convention caused men’s testosterone levels to drop all over the country–”literally, not figuratively.”
Despite siding with the theocrats, much like Trump, Adams wasn’t a believer. He claimed to be agnostic, and wrote several fictional books centered around deism. This brings me to funny TriviaBert number one: Scott Adams actually did one of those deathbed conversions that religious people always pretend smart atheists do when they’re dying.
Someone published a “final message” to Adams’ Xitter account after he died, in which he wrote, “many of my Christian friends have asked me to find Jesus before I go. I’m not a believer,
but I have to admit the risk-reward calculation for doing so looks attractive. So, here I go:
I accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior, and I look forward to spending an eternity with him. The part about me not being a believer should be quickly resolved if I wake up in heaven. I
won’t need any more convincing than that. And I hope I am still qualified for entry.”
Then he plugs his books and his podcast. I’m not kidding. His final wish was that you would all go check out Coffee With Scott Adams, where you can hear him call black people a hate group. I’m just disappointed he didn’t include a coupon code for Ground News.
Anyway, the conversion: classic dumb dumb thinking. That’s Pascal’s wager, by the way: you have nothing to lose, so you may as well accept Jesus into your heart just in case! This, of course, assumes that Christianity is the only religion and that there is no alternate god who would get royally pissed at you for doing that, and also that the Christian god is a fucking moron who can’t tell when someone is just faking it. So yeah, that’s an absolute on-brand way for Scott Adams to leave the world: doing something idiotic before plugging his podcast.
Okay, TriviaBert number two: Scott Adams died of prostate cancer, despite the fact that almost 100% of people diagnosed with prostate cancer survive past five years thanks to early screening and quick treatment. But Adams refused his doctors’ suggested treatments, announcing last May that he had chosen to treat his cancer with ivermectin and other anti-parasitics. This is how I learned that Scott Adams wasn’t just a grifter who parrotted everything MAGA idiots were saying: he actually believed that ivermectin was a secret wonder drug that Big Pharma was hiding as a flea and tick treatment. He actually thought, no, ivermectin isn’t just for Dogberts. It’s also for COVIDberts and yes, even cancerberts. And so he dutifully ate his parasite paste as the cancer spread throughout his body, even refusing their recommended testosterone blockers until his pain was unbearable. Jeeze, if only a woman had beaten Trump in 2016 or 2024, maybe they would have naturally blocked his testosterone the way they did at the 2016 DNC and he would never had been in any pain at all.
Anyway, may the best thing Scott Adams leaves us with is a warning: do your cancer screenings and listen to your doctor, or else you, too might end up begging the sociopathic fascist dictator you helped elect to stop dismantling the country’s healthcare system long enough to pull some strings with your insurance company to help you access last ditch treatment options before you ultimately die painfully just two months later.
Triviabert number 3: Scott Adams FOLLOWED ME ON TWITTER??? Sorry, this is a Triviabert I just learned myself because I went there to get that screenshot of him groveling to Trump and I’m like…what do you mean, follow “back?” Wow. Twitter sure was a weird ass place.
Okay, Triviabert number 4: Scott Adams claimed to be a “trained hypnotist” and also claimed that he hypnotized himself with ChatGPT.
So I don’t have much against hypnotists, in that I think they can be skilled entertainers and sure, maybe they can help particularly suggestive people relax or cope with stress or something. That said, I’ve met a few professional hypnotists in my life and every single one gave off “date rapist” vibes, and every single one claimed to have magical powers. So basically, I am absolutely the prime audience to laugh at Scott Adams posting on Xitter, “I taught ChatGPT hypnosis last night.
Then I had it test it on me.
You have no idea what is coming.
No idea.”
And then, “No, I won’t be sharing the prompts. Far too dangerous.”
He went on to describe his experience on his podcast, which is available now wherever podcasts are sold. He taught the wordbot…wordbert? “weapons-grade persuasion” techniques that gave him “an experience that was beyond psychedelics, was basically that powerful, and it did it instantly, and it could do it—it could do it as long as I wanted.” That’s interesting, I have the same thing and it’s called a vibrator. It actually came preprogrammed so I didn’t even need to come up with a prompt.
Triviabert number 5: Scott Adams told an interviewer that his family never hugged him. I’ll be honest, I forgot to get a screenshot of this while I was researching this video but I think it was in this Bloomberg profile and now it has a subscription block and I’ll be damned if I’m paying Bloomberg money just to prove this, because you already know it in your heart. Of COURSE his family didn’t hug him. (POST PRODUCTION EDIT: I found it, it is in the article, hahahahaha)
Okay, and the final TriviaBert of today’s video is this: in 2020, Adams predicted that if Joe Biden won the election, “there’s a good chance you will be dead within the year.” In fact, we both survived. But when his man Donald Trump was elected in 2024, Adams was, in fact, dead with the year. Fascinating stuff.
So that’s it, RIP to a real one. By which I mean a real racist, misogynistic, weird one who I’m sure is now in heaven, celebrating with Jesus and hoping the Lord doesn’t realize he got tricked, as illustrated in the many AI slop pictures and videos the Nazis on X have been churning out. And on that note, I guess I shouldn’t say RIP. According to this image posted by far-right fascist Jack Posobiec, I should say “FE IRVISS.” Fe irviss, Scottbert. Fe Irviss.
