I’ve been covering and correcting misinformation for several decades now, and in that time I’ve definitely had to deal with false statements from high level politicians. I’ve also had to deal with faked media, whether through Photoshop or video editing or “AI.” I have never, ever seen something as ludicrous as what happened this weekend when the current President of the United States of America posted this to social media.
A few points, here. That is not a real Fox News clip. That is AI. You can tell by the chyron, by the stilted way that “Trump” speaks, and by the fact that it is announcing a MAGICAL BED THAT CURES ALL DISEASE.
Secondly, this video was posted to Donald Trump’s official personal account on his personal social media site, Truth Social. Now, we don’t know that Trump himself posted it–it may have been a staffer. But the video is a deepfake OF DONALD TRUMP, featuring a deepfake OF DONALD TRUMP’S DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.
In a serious country with democratic norms still in place, a circumstance like this would lead directly to journalists forcing Donald Trump to explain whether or not he posted the video, and as a follow-up they would force him to elaborate on whether or not he understands reality. Like, does he know he never said this? Does he know that magical beds don’t exist? Because I don’t know that he knows that. I do not know whether or not he just fell asleep while watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks and is about to banish Angela Lansbury to the island of Naboombu unless she reveals the location of the Star of Astoroth.
Because around the same time, Trump had a phone call with the governor of Oregon over his plans to have the military invade PORTLAND and when the mayor told him that Portland is not currently in peril Trump responded, “Well wait a minute, am I watching things on television that are different from what’s happening?” Yeah. Yeah I think you fucking are, you demented orangutan.
Anyway, someone eventually noticed the AI slop on Trump’s feed and deleted it, but not before forcing millions of people to learn about “medbeds” against their will. And just in case you still remain blissfully ignorant of such a thing, allow me to ruin your day.
“Medbeds” are a uniquely American conspiracy theory, in the same way that Breaking Bad is a uniquely American television plot: no one in a country with basic access to healthcare would ever believe it. Its roots are in QAnon, especially at the start of Biden’s presidency in the midst of the COVID pandemic: what if the evil liberal government secretly has advanced (and possibly alien) technology that cures all disease, even repairing DNA and regrowing limbs in under an hour? All of our aches and pains and sickness will be gone, if only we can put Donald Trump back in charge.
How do we know the government possesses this technology? Simple: how else can you explain JFK, Jr. looking so youthful and exuberant when he’s 65 years old and DIED IN A PLANE CRASH 26 YEARS AGO? Because yes, the QAnon cultists also believe that JFK, Jr. is still alive and that at some point he will reveal himself and take power. That’s him on the right, there. Alive and just as sexy as ever. If that’s what a medbed does to you, just let me die.
Of course, it’s not enough that there’s this silly conspiracy theory floating around: someone has to make a buck off of it. Like I said, very America-coded. In the past few years, several companies have sprung into existence in order to meet the demand of people who are desperate to not die. Last year, the New York Times profiled one such mark who fell down the conspiracy rabbit hole via an online audio chatroom called Patriot Party News. Michael is a veteran who is in constant pain from his service and unable to find relief through Veterans Affairs. At first he was skeptical of the medbed idea, but over time he was persuaded that it must be true. That app introduced him to John Baxter, a Florida mattress salesman who coincidentally got his hands on some of that sweet top secret technology and launched a company called Anti-Aging Beds.
When another Patriot Party News victim dropped tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars on these “medbeds,” Michael packed up his things and drove 300 miles to pay $85 an hour to lay on a vibrating bed, which vibrates in different ways depending on what ailment you’re hoping to cure, like acne, or anthrax, or HIV, or, in Michael’s case, back pain. How ironic that he picked the one condition that a vibrating bed might actually help with. Well, that and anorgasmia. Hmm. $85 an hour, huh? That would only be like three bucks for a few minutes. Not bad now that I think about it.
Anyway, even if you do still think that’s a steep price, part of the medbed conspiracy theory is what the AI slop video shows: Donald Trump will set up medbed hospitals where every American can be healed at absolutely zero cost. Sounds like socialism to me but what do I know?
So yeah, the medbed is a fantasy of a world where healthcare is simple, inexpensive, and effective, and the President of the United States posted a video of himself announcing that it’s real. Why? Well, we don’t have any way to know, since journalism and accountability no longer exist. Here’s my favorite hypothesis, though: Donald Trump is dying, and he’s desperately searching for a way to live forever. He’s never been religious so he knows that if a god does exist, the afterlife won’t be fun: he even told Fox News that he hoped to end Russia’s war on Ukraine so he can get to heaven because “I’m hearing I’m not doing well. I am really at the bottom of the totem pole.”
That doesn’t seem to be working out so well. What’s the alternative? Well, never dying, of course. And since he is obviously cognitively impaired, he saw the medbed video and thought it was real, because just like Michael, the veteran with the bad back, desperation made him believe. I bet there’s a team of researchers locked in a basement somewhere pretending to work on inventing the medbed. They won’t. Just like Bryan Johnson and me and you and everyone else who has ever lived, Donald Trump is going to die one day. But I do agree with him on one thing: he’s not going to end up in heaven.
