Gwyneth Paltrow’s “GOOP” is getting a TV show!
I saw the trailer for the show and…it’s like, this must be what political comedy writers felt when Donald Trump was elected. It’s impossible to satire something that is so fucked up it satirizes itself. Here, just look.
Kind of them to put the thesis in the trailer: It’s dangerous, it’s unregulated, how can we really milk the shit out of this?
Seriously, Gwyneth, what the fuck are you doing to people?
Look, I’m not going to act surprised. This was inevitable. I’m not going to pretend like Netflix isn’t here to make a billion dollars even if it kills someone and you know what? It probably will. I mean, it already has! Remember back in 2017 when a woman died from a GOOP-endorsed treatment? In case you missed it, she promoted the use of live bees as a type of acupuncture, as reported in the New York Times and on her own website. Not long after, as a doctor reported in the Journal of Investigational Allergology and Clinical Immunology, a woman experienced severe anaphylaxis and died after undergoing “apitherapy.” Because as everyone who has ever watched My Girl knows, bee stings can be incredibly dangerous, even if you never had a previous adverse reaction.
Bee sting therapy! It’s dangerous, it’s unregulated, and Gwyneth really milked the shit out of it up until that woman died, at which point they deleted and redirected their GOOP articles about it to some other bullshit about how honey is a superfood.
And that’s hardly the only dangerous shit she promotes. She’s all about sticking random shit in your vagina, which fyi is not good for it. Stop doing that. It will not help you but it may give you a yeast infection, which can make you infertile if you decide to treat it with, I don’t know, ENERGY HEALING.
And yeah, I’m so glad GOOP Lab (holy shit, that name) will be telling us about energy healing, which is fake fucking bullshit that has killed loads of people who decide that they don’t need chemotherapy because some fucking fraud says they can cure their cancer by waving their hands over them and chanting.
And jeeze, I’m also glad the “lab” is dealing with exorcisms, which kill people every year. These are usually people with mental illnesses that go unchecked, and instead of getting them a doctor and drugs some asshole straps them to a table and tortures them until they die because of the Devil. Cool, fun topic, Gwyneth! I hope you and the girls have fun with it!
Meanwhile over in Canada, the CBC has chosen to give their money to fund a television show by Dr. Jen Gunter, who I’ve spoken about before and who is basically the anti-Gwyneth. She is a board certified gynecologist who actually knows what the fuck she’s talking about and isn’t afraid to call bullshit when she sees it. Kudos to the CBC for greenlighting Jensplaining, and I hope we can watch it here in the States because I’ll need some time to fill now that I won’t be watching Netflix. And fuck you, Netflix.