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Look, I get that it’s 2018 and everything is completely fucked because Prince and David Bowie are dead and Donald Trump is president and North Korea is going to drop a nuclear bomb on us because of Twitter’s poor harassment policies but no, I cannot stand idly by while otherwise intelligent and well-meaning people start cheering for Oprah God Damned Winfrey to run for President of the United States in 2020. No. Just…no.
This week, Oprah won the Cecil B. DeMille award at the Golden Globes, which goes to a recipient each year who makes “outstanding contributions to the world of entertainment.” She’s definitely done that — in addition to creating, producing, and starring in one of the most popular television shows ever, The Oprah Winfrey Show, she has produced movies like Beloved, Precious, Selma, and the Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.
Oprah is absolutely an inspiring figure, because she’s done all that and become literally the richest African American ever after growing up poor with a single mother. It’s incredible! She’s a multi-billionaire media mogul, and she did it all because she was smart and hard-working and tenacious.
So she gave an inspiring speech at the Golden Globes and now sources are saying she’s considering a presidential run. Twitter is beside itself, with #Oprah2020 flying around. Can we just take a moment to stop and realize just how monumentally fucked up this is?
First of all, Trump be damned, the office of the presidency is not an entry-level job. I couldn’t get a job as a fucking copywriter right out of college because I didn’t have enough experience. I didn’t have enough experience to get a job writing words on a fucking billboard, even though I did have some experience writing words on fucking billboards. I didn’t have enough. Yet half of the entire nation is apparently just fine hiring a person to run the fucking country even though they have absolutely zero political experience. Oprah, do you really want to be president? Then run for the local school board. Run for mayor. Run for your condo board. Show me you can do that, and I’ll consider your qualifications for president.
But even if Oprah did start there, she’d still be a fucking terrible president. You know how I know? Because Oprah is the reason millions of Americans are suspicious of vaccines. Oprah let Jenny McCarthy come on her show countless times, first to promote “Indigo children” and “crystal children,” which is a belief that blond-haired blue-eyed children are psychics blessed by aliens from another dimension and no I’m not making that up, Jenny McCarthy thought her son Evan was a magical fairy until a few years later when she decided he was just autistic instead thanks to vaccines. And yes, Oprah continued to give McCarthy a platform to bash vaccines.
Oprah is also the reason we have “the secret,” the belief that if you want something you just pretend like you already have it and the universe will give it to you. When carried to its natural conclusion, it’s the belief that children die of cancer because they’re not wishing hard enough to not have cancer. Oprah is a huge proponent of the scammy books and videos, and she promoted it to her huge audience and launched it into becoming a national phenomenon.
Oprah has promoted loads of psychic mediums, men and women like John Edwards who charge huge amounts of money to lie to grieving people and tell them their loved ones say hello and to please keep paying the medium ridiculous amounts of money for more specific and important messages like that.
And let’s not forget that Oprah is 100% the reason why we have crackpots like Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil telling even more stupid bullshit to an even larger audience. I’ve spoken in the past about all the nonsense that comes out of Oz’s mouth but as a quick reminder he’s been yelled at by Congress for making misleading health claims and selling bullshit products to gullible people who believed Oprah when she called him “America’s doctor.”
This stuff isn’t just brainless — it’s actively dangerous misinformation. If you are horrified by the “fake news” of the Trump era, I guarantee you that under Oprah’s regime facts will cease to have any meaning.
It’s incredibly infuriating to me that so many liberals have failed to learn their lesson from Trump: just because someone is likable, or a celebrity, or rich, doesn’t mean they’re fit to run the damn country. Just say no to #Oprah2020.