Quickies: Feminist Boyfriends, the Cause of Cancer, and Preventing Suicide in Trans Community

  • How to find a feminist boyfriend – “Few guys will proudly say no when asked if they’re feminists. Instead it’s a wholehearted yes, a lukewarm maybe or Can you define what you mean by ‘feminist,’ please? As one 32-year-old put it to The Washington Post Magazine last month: ‘I respect the movement. I’m hesitant to call myself a feminist, but I guess I wouldn’t shy away from the term.’ In other words: Do we have to put a label on it? The label isn’t everything; living it is more important than saying it. But it’s a good place to start.” From Radium.
  • Attracted To Men, Pastor Feels Called To Marriage With A Woman – Umm I’m just going to leave this here and walk away.
  • Most cancers are caused by bad luck not genes or lifestyle, say scientists – “Of 31 cancers studied by scientists at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine in the US, just nine were found to be linked to lifestyle or genetic faults. The remaining 22 were mainly just the result of ‘bad luck,’ with DNA and behaviour only having a small impact.”
  • Why activists and feminists get so many death threats – “Activists of all stripes reflect on the dangers of standing up for controversial ideas in the age of social media.”
  • In Preventing Trans Suicides, ‘We Have Such A Long Way To Go’ – ” ‘And I try to emphasize that, let’s say you’ve got two years left in high school, that that seems like forever, but it’s not that long. The important thing for teenagers to do in that situation is to make plans to help them get through however long it is,’ Martela says. ‘Cause the truth is, some people’s parents in this country are never going to respect their identity or accept them as trans.’ “
  • An Immersive Game Shows How Easily Segregation Arises—and How We Might Fix It – ” ‘Parable of the Polygons’ is playable version of Thomas Schelling’s model of neighborhood segregation, with an optimistic ending.” From Dan.

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Mary Brock works as an Immunology scientist by day and takes care of a pink-loving princess child by night. She likes cloudy days, crafting, cooking, and Fall weather in New England.

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  1. Yeah, wow, those diversity parable comments… I kinda like how the complaint that it doesn’t perfectly map to real conditions is coming up, though. It’s true, there aren’t equal numbers of the two groups. There also aren’t only two groups. And very few people are square OR triangular! It’s almost as if it’s an activity to get people thinking about an issue, rather than a documentary, huh? :P

    I noticed a way to reduce segregation without adding an anti-bias bias, though. I got segregation up to 90% with a 66% bias toward their neighbours being like them, and then I turned that bias up to 100% and segregation plummeted! Nobody would stay anywhere, so no similar communities formed for very long, and there was no segregation. It seems, then, that the solution is outright and overt bigotry in all things, and I’m not only saying this because of my huge investments in haulage companies and estate agents! (Seriously, though, this is probably not the ideal solution.)

  2. The comments on the Feminist boyfriend article are terrible as well. I felt the urge to post, but they had such an overwhelming theme that I chose not to bother. Really anti-man actually. Most of the posters spent their time viciously demeaning any man that might dare to consider himself a feminist. Being gay, it’s actually kind of funny to see the same insults that are no longer okay to use against me (and I’m just now realizing that I rarely ever see them in comments anymore), apparently still considered okay to use against other men who break gender roles.

  3. I’ve tended to call myself a feminist ally instead of a feminist, because I’d heard some feminists say they were uncomfortable with men calling themselves feminists. Is that passe at this point?

    1. I think the feminist movement benefits by having men who identify as feminists. I haven’t really heard a good argument for why men should be “allies” instead. The patriarchy hurts men as well.

      1. And if, on a first date, or speed date, a woman asks you if you’re a “feminist”, then gets angry at you for saying “yes” because “only women can be feminists” … well … it might be time to walk away.
        Who plays gotcha games on a first date?

      2. “The patriarchy hurts men as well.” Yes! And, it is supported by women as well. When I was a kid, I (male) got more gender policing from my female classmates than from my male classmates. And I’m not even gay, trans, queer, or any other non-cishet label; just being nerdy, bookish, and uninterested in performative masculinity was enough to be mocked for failing to be sufficiently boy-like. If patriarchy were just a matter of male domination and female victimhood, it would be a much simpler problem than it is.

      3. I guess it doesn’t help that there are men who identify as feminists but who fail to live the label, like He Who Shall Not Be Named (not because I’m unwilling to say his name, just because I don’t remember it… Hugo something?) and who maybe only identify themselves as feminists because they think it’ll get them closer to women.
        By the same token, however, Christina Hoff Sommers calls herself a feminist… so… I dunno, seems if she has rights to the label, then a guy who actually believes that women should be treated like full human beings definitely should as well. Mind you, I’m also perfectly willing to call myself an ally in specific company if it’s a big deal because, hey, I’m more interested in supporting the movement than claiming the title.

  4. re: the pastor
    Things like this almost make me think of Orson Scott Card.
    His first books were a kind of “gay apologetics”, like he was trying to explain or justify gayness to the anti gay. He wrote lines like “I’m not like those other gays! I’m not dirty and disgusting!”
    Later, he created a male gay character who liked a woman so much that he got her pregnant. I actually found it a bit touching until I realized it was his prescription for gay men.

    1. I think I know which book you’re talking about, from the Homecoming series, right? (If not, then he’s done it at least twice.) I was totally baffled when I found out how anti-gay Card is because I remembered his gay characters being written so sympathetically. It was only when I reread his books that I realized how strong the theme of “It’s okay if you’re gay! But loving men is still wrong and you need to suck it up and get with a woman and have kids” is for him.

      1. Homecoming had the gay character who got married and had children.
        I think it was “Songmaster” and “Songbird” with the beautiful boy that sang so wonderfully that grown men broke down in tears and just couldn’t stop hugging him and holding him in a totally non-gay way (of course). Songbird also had a gay character who was very defensive about not being like all those other gay people you hear about.

    2. I think he’s pretty closeted, and this was part of his way of dealing with his feelings and his religion.

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