The next three Star Wars films are now in production, and a lot of buzz is going around the Internet about the fact that only one new major female character has been added, along with seven men.
Apparently, the uproar caught the attention of J.J. Abrams, who announced that there was one more major role to fill and it would be a woman. Note that this major role didn’t need to be at the table read with every other actor, for some reason.
Personally, I am majorly disappointed to find out that another woman will be added. Wait, hear me out!
The original trilogy also included only one major female character. The trilogy is considered a classic and I personally have fond memories of it from watching and loving it as a youngster. I wish there had been more female characters, because for all the films’ weaknesses, they’ve come through the years regarded as classics. Fine.
The prequels also had one major female character. I think. I can’t be sure, because I fell asleep in the middle of every one. They were some of the worst movies that have ever been made. Ever. Dull, boring, insulting, grating — I wish there had been no women in those movies. When future generations look back at this ridiculous time when Hollywood insisted on churning out film after film told from the perspective of straight young white men, I want them to look at Attack of the Clones and say “Women had nothing to do with that.”
Sure, the next three movies may turn out to be great, but when I look at the evidence, I’m not convinced. Abrams’ Star Trek films have been forgettable brain vacations. Everything George Lucas has had control over for the past two decades has been an unmitigated disaster. There’s a very, very good chance that this next trilogy will be abhorrent.
The last thing women need is for anyone to remember that we insisted another woman get on that sinking ship. I say, let’s let the men have these. Female Star Wars fans can still enjoy Clone Wars and other things in the extended universe, while men can enjoy all the profits, and all of the blame, that comes from the films.
While I’m on the subject, here are some other things that I’d prefer not be “improved” with diversity:
Two and a Half Men
Axe Body Spray
Camouflage cargo shorts
Any movie based on a board game
Men can keep these things. We do not need them.