If there’s anything worse than sexism, it’s pranks. April Fool’s Day is the worst day in the history of holidays because it convinces people that anyone can be hilarious by lying about something, or making someone eat something they usually wouldn’t want to eat, or scaring someone who would prefer to not be scared. And if there’s anything worse than sexism and pranks, it’s sexist pranks.
Exhibit A: YouTube pranksters Vitaly Zdorovetskiy, Roman Atwood, and Dennis Roady, merrily pranking a woman who enjoyed the prank so much she had her identity blurred.
A man hangs out at the beach wearing a terrible shiny tropical button-down and long pants. A woman approaches. He says to her, “What’s up cutie.” Everyone watching the video vomits. He says, “I was looking at you? And I thought you were really pretty? And I wanted to get your number?”
She politely declines. He pesters her as she walks away. She keeps walking.
He moves over to his Lamborghini and asks again if she’ll go out with him. She asks if that’s his car. He says it is. She says that now she’d go out with him to a bar down the street. He says, putting on his awesome sunglasses, “Too bad. I don’t like gold diggers.”
BLAMMO! Take that, woman! You didn’t want to go out with this guy when he was just a creep in a shiny shirt hanging out on the beach, but once you learned something else about him you changed your mind! Bitch!
The comments on the video are exactly what you think they are:
BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA GET? OWNEDDD BITCHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Fuckin slut open her legs only for? fancy cars !
yeah, moddafukka VITALY, you show dem bitches? some class
To recap, a man expresses interest in a woman based entirely upon her body. A woman expresses interest in a man based entirely upon his car. One of these things is not okay. Why? Because women are bitches, obviously.
I first spotted this video on Gawker, where the comments aren’t much smarter than YouTube:
If it’s all right for the “pick-up artist” to objectify his targets, why is it not all right for the target to then turn around and do the same to him?
Because one is based on biology, and the other is based on economics? Sure, he was a little cheesy, but at the end of the day, he politely told her he thought she was pretty and asked her out, and she got burned.
The commenter doesn’t seem at all upset or disappointed that his comment makes no sense at all. First, there’s the problem of elevating biology over economics for no apparent reason; second, there’s the problem of a person’s attractiveness being based more on economics and other factors than on biology.
Third, there’s the problem of labeling his behavior as “polite” while implying that her behavior was not, when in fact the opposite is clearly true. He approached her and continued bothering her after she made her disinterest clear. She declined as politely as she could while continuing to walk away. Why did she deserve to get “burned”?
Because women are bitches. It’s the only possible explanation. Men are forgiven for experiencing an attraction to another person based on a single characteristic, and women are not.
You may be tempted to argue that this isn’t about hating women so much as it is about hating attraction to wealth compared to attraction to physicality, but I’d disagree. If that video instead showed the woman turning down the man and then changing her mind after he unbuttoned his cheesy shirt to show glistening muscles, the moral would still be, “Women are shallow bitches.” Ditto if the man whipped out a copy of Pride and Prejudice and started reading, or gave mouth-to-mouth to a dying kitten, or helped an elderly person cross the street.
The woman is accused of being a shallow bitch not because the car changed her mind, but because she changed her mind at all. The venom leaking out of the video and the comments is coming from men who believe that women who reject their advances should be punished and humiliated.
My favorite of the Gawker comments is this one, from RunningOutOfBurnJokes:
I always forget the word people use for rich men who only go after beautiful women, whatever their salary. What is it again? It’s so common, there must be one…
Leave your suggestions in the comments!