Let’s write a new Samsung Ad!

Redditors don’t like this Samsung ad:
I don’t like it. It had CNET asking ‘Is this the worst as Samsung’s ever made?‘ and Mashable wondering ‘Why Is This Samsung Ad So Terrible?‘. Gawker says ‘This Insane Samsung Ad Is Insane for a Reason That Samsung Wants Hidden‘ and Fast Company claims (loudly) ‘THIS SAMSUNG PROMO VIDEO WAS SO BAD, IT WAS PULLED A DAY AFTER REDDIT FOUND IT‘.
Way to go, Reddit.
Well, what Reddit takes away, we shall replace! Let’s write Samsung a new Ad!
Here are a few ideas I had when first viewing this gem of an ad…
Woman: "I just look at cat videos."
Man: "I'm launching rockets for NASA."That @samsung commercial, basically
— Raychelle Burks (@DrRubidium) August 25, 2013
Woman: "What's a 'hard drive'?"
Man: "Thanks for new hard drive, let me build my new PC from scraps of my old one."~@samsung commerical
— Raychelle Burks (@DrRubidium) August 25, 2013
Woman: "Thank you for making it so simple even I can use it!"
Man: "I'll need 19 more so I can back up the ISS."~that @samsung commerical
— Raychelle Burks (@DrRubidium) August 25, 2013
We need a lot more dialogue. Please add your contributions in the comments!
Featured image is a screen capture of the ad above.
This ad is so terrible, I’m convinced it’s a deliberate viral marketing strategy.
Woman: I’m just a woman. Your technology frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the noises coming from my computer make me want to run off into the hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get an email, I wonder: “Did little demons get inside and type it?” I don’t know! My primitive mind can’t grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know – the Samsung SSD is the best thing to happen to women since the washing machine.
(apologies to SNL)
Look at the guy as he says the last line, though (“I’d love to have the Samsung 840…”):
Doesn’t it look and sound as if he’s being forced to speak this line by an off-screen thug with a gun?
Man: So this is one of those solid state drives I’ve heard so much about, wow it’s so lightweight and sleek. And it’s 500GB? Wow!
Woman: So I just.. I just put this in my vagina?
Maybe Samsung’s next ad could feature an Asian who isn’t a good driver.
That was …. awful!
Their reaction to the SSD reminded me of the IT Crowd episode when Jen showed off the Internet.
Now it all makes sense. I thought they were all just really stoned.
“They force us to speak slowly since this will be dubbed over in Korean”
http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/1kwgfx/samsung_ad_featuring_possibly_the_worlds_worst/cbtm7r1
The Samsung 840 EVO is easy to install. Anyone can use it, including
women
old people
toddlers
nonwhite races
the mentally ll
short people
recently thawed cavemen
gerbils
Germans
animated suits of armor
Mogwai
liberals
Moose from Archie comics
the indigenous peoples of Mesoamerica
It HAS to be a Poe. It has to. The alternatives are too upsetting.
It’s a Poe. Right?