You guys! I’m in a horrible situation! I have no computer!
Yes, I have my phone. And my iPad. And a backup phone. And an iPod Touch, and access to other household computers should I desperately need one. BUT BESIDES THOSE I HAVE NO COMPUTER!
Last week, a series of events resulted in me accidentally leaving my laptop outside during a heavy rainstorm. Now it no longer works. Because water is made up of demons that suck technology out of things it comes into contact with.
And as someone who is perpetually haunted by water demons, I know what all the exorcists recommend. They say that I can drive the demons out of my equipment by using demon repelling rice. It’s like holy water… if holy water weren’t haunted. But it works the same way. You submerge the possessed into the rice until it becomes pure and stops vomiting rainbow screens at you.
But guys, I’m a skeptic. I don’t believe in holy rice or technological exorcisms, and I’m concerned that they’re not just harmless but could seriously injure the very computers we’re trying to save. What if rice ends up in my fan in my USB port? And does it even work? Why is it so hard for me to get rice to soak up boiling water in pots on my stove but suddenly it becomes a magnetized water trap when I place grains in a plastic bag next to my former Olympic-hopeful* PS3?
(*I never got a chance to tell it that there is no toilet swimming event. I couldn’t bear to. So much passion. RIP, old friend.)
Fortunately, I’ve learned that accidental damage coverage works just as well as throwing my Zune into a box of Uncle Ben’s and accidentally almost cooking it for dinner three months later after forgetting that Zunes even were a thing.
Anyway, blogging from my iPad is a pain in my ass, so let’s cut this short.
What things that most people believe do you just not quite buy into, even if you’re not sure why you don’t believe them? Is there stuff other skeptics doubt or trust that you can’t help but feel opposite about? Do you do the rice thing?