Hey everyone! I’m just sitting here, on my couch, waiting for a tornado to come and kill me and my family.
Normally, I’m not so scared of things like a 9 hour tornado watch, but this year, The Tornadoes have put together an unstoppable no-nonsense offense, and are having an epic season. And they’re heading my way… maybe… possibly. So, I’m just waiting to see if they show up, monitoring the weather situation, which you cannot do without also monitoring the Oklahoma situation, and if I described my mood right now, it would be some combination of pants-shitting and holy-fucking-horrified-vomiting.
What can you even do in a situation like this? When I lived in the Midwest, I always sort of took “I have a basement” for granted. Tornadoes sirens go off, you just move to the basement, come up after you’ve watched a few shows, and no big deal. But I’m in Texas now, where there are no basements. And where I’m also in a non-ground-floor apartment… and… things aren’t so “easy” when deadly weather is approaching. Which is, you know, stressful.
But at the same time, I’m astounded and grateful for the technology that allows me to be stressed out for hours while I wait to die. Because it’s that technology that even gives me a chance to survive. Last year around this time, we had some nasty tornadoes blow through DFW, leveling towns, but because of the technology that allowed everyone adequate time to prepare and take cover (and sheer luck, I’m sure), no one died. And as devastating as yesterday’s storms in Oklahoma were, things could have been far worse—an outcome I cannot even begin to emotionally process right now. But lives were, no doubt, spared because people were given time, even if that time is a terrifying and horrible one to experience.
So I guess, hooray that I’m sitting here shitting my pants because maybe it’s better I shit than to not know I should be shitting even if maybe not shitting feels better?
Are you shitting out through any weather right now? Are there any cool things you do while waiting for the earth to come violently claim you and your loved ones? What should I do if we all live through this? Party? Double party? Clean my couch? Send a thank you card to Mr and Mrs Doppler?
The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 3pm ET.