All the Interwebs are atwitter today over the news that Pope Benedict XVI is stepping down, the first pope to do so since His Holiness Velocipope resigned in 65 million BCE shortly before being hit by a meteor. Hey, did you know that Wikipedia keeps a list of sexually active Popes? Donate today.
Anyway, the Pope says this has something to do with his failing health, and since everything is part of God’s plan, basically he’s saying that he’s being aborted by God. I suspect there’s something else going on, though, like the fact that this happened shortly after the Pope joined Twitter and we all know how persuasive atheists on social media can be. When I Tweeted this hunch, I saw that many of you felt the same:
@rebeccawatson he saw someone had put the bible in the fiction section and he was all like lol then he was holy shit they're all right man
— Donaldosaurus (@Donaldosaurus) February 11, 2013
Amongst the Skepchicks, Daniela suggested this may have something to do with an ongoing banking controversy, though Mindy thought that it was either because he’s “a secret reformer who just couldn’t take it anymore so he quit so he could live in Costa Rica with his boyfriend” or “It’s come to light that he had an abortion.” So I open it up to all of you for this special PopeDay Afternoon Inquisition:
Why’s the Pope REALLY quitting?