Afternoon Inquisition

AI Revisited: Totally Crotchin’ Prize Round

Last week I came up with the new gender neutral swear word, crotch and asked you lovely readers to work it into your regular vocabulary for a chance at a prize!

And can I just say, that for the most part you guys were hilarious and awesome!

Only a very few people completely missed the point, or just didn’t bother to read the post or the comments and just used the thread as an excuse to type every “bad” word they could think of without contemplating the origin or implication in terms of gender or to somehow tell me I was wrong for inventing new slang words or to tell me I was was overreacting. For fun later, feel free to go back and find those people and let them know they should quit being so crotchy!

But for the rest of you, big crotch-love all around! And here are some highlights of some of the hilarious comments we received:

He typed the ENTIRE song but here is a snippet….

Chris added our new word to Urban Dictionary! Feel free to vote it up here.

Chris also had this hilarious interaction when he received a random text message from someone he did not know:

Special thanks to everyone who has participated! Elyse and I couldn’t decide on a winner because there were so many great ones so we are asking for your help! Please vote for your favorite crotch quote in the comments! I am making a super-crotchin’ Surly-Ramics necklace for the winner!

* Full disclosure: Chris is a significant-other to Skepchick Mindy but his contributions were too great to dismiss! He has voluntarily opted out of the prize round but we think he should be acknowledged for his outstanding crotchiness!

Amy Roth

Amy Davis Roth (aka Surly Amy) is a multimedia, science-loving artist who resides in Los Angeles, California. She makes Surly-Ramics and is currently in love with pottery. Daily maker of art and leader of Mad Art Lab. Support her on Patreon. Tip Jar is here.

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    1. Wait, serious stuff happens here?

      I always imagined this website to be the kind of banter you get amongst friends in swimming-pool changing room.

    2. Yeah, that was me who “didn’t get it”. I got that English inherently has sexism encoded in its lexicon (more than just in cursing) and that we should change that, but I just decided I’m not going to let go of the B word anyways. I’ve had so many good memories with it that I can’t let it go despite what it means.

      Also, I don’t think anyone really enjoys a post as much as when there’s controversy going on, so I’m happy to play the roll of the idiot who doesn’t get it here.

        1. Yes, my butthurt internet male blog & forum trolling skills are not as well refined as others. I try not to be too big of a hemorrhoid-cream-bag.

  1. They’re all so beautiful, it’s hard to choose just one. So I’m going to go with this spectacular entry:


    “What’s up, cri-otches.”

    …because I’ve already appropriated it.

    Holla, cri-otches!

  2. I won’t be a crotch and vote for myself. Not that I’m competitive or anything. I mean, really, truly, it’s an honor just to be included in such a distinguished, resplendent group of like minded folks interested in crotches.

    But back to the vote. I vote for Rob T. for Phil Plaitt sez: “Don’t be a crotch!” It’s got it all: it’s brief, packs a punch and also has the skeptic angle. Good luck to all.

    PS: I really like Surly-Ramic necklaces. Just sayin.

  3. I had a hard time choosing between “What’s up cri-othces.” and “Phil Plaitt says ‘Don’t be a crotch.'”

    In the end I side with Rob T.’s contribution, because I am more into the flat delivery method. Just a good, plain ol’ crotch is perfect for me, no need to fancy it up with the extended “cri-“.

    Plus having my own asterisk…. Crotchin.

  4. Skepchick ought make a list of proper offensive words and improper offensive words – then we’ll all know the difference, God damn it. (the religious are fair game, aren’t they?).

      1. By the way: What was wrong with the post I entered a few minutes ago, which you deleted? A freethinking deletion?

        1. Clearly, I have not censored you as you have been firing off comments every 5 minutes or so on this thread and the prior one. The only thing you have demonstrated is that you do not understand the purpose of these posts nor do you understand the gender implications of specific words. We are not discussing religion or whether or not it is appropriate to use the word, God. Your argument is not valid nor is it on topic and at best it is simply made for the sake of being inflammatory. If you continue to post off topic here I will put you in permanent moderation. This is not a democracy nor is it your personal playground.

          Feel free to continue your ranting on the prior thread. This one is for voting.

  5. These ARE really good, all of them. I had to put rules on my decision to make it easier — therefore, I’m only considering ones that actually replace a naughty word, rather than a G-rated one, with crotch.

    I think I vote for crotchwad. One, it rolls off the tongue and I can’t wait to use it in my next automobile interaction, and two, just as everyone has a crotch, everyone can experience the cottony discomfort of a crotchwad.

    Though “eat a bowl of crotches” is pretty hilarious too.

  6. Wait – what? Would only a crotchy crotch-centered cri-otch vote for her own submission?
    OK, then I put my vote towards my own “What’s up, cri-otches?”

  7. My vote is for “Say hello to my little crotch.” Scarcrotch could be a straight to DVD movie.
    Starring Crotchy Montana.

  8. I wish someone entered “Smells Like Teen Crotch Spirit” but that would be illegal in all 50 states.

  9. I also vote for Laika. I LOL’d.

    N.B. If y’all call somebody a crotch rag, does that become sexist again?

  10. Amy,

    I’m sorry, but what was the point of this exactly? There are already multiple gender neutral swear words, and even in the name of equality, I don’t see what is the point of coming up with a new one.

    1. The original point was explained in the original post linked to above. Basically, that the majority of words that are derogatory are gendered female and I wanted a non gendered replacement for the word, bitch.

      The other main point which seems rather obvious, was to have a little fun.

  11. Holy crotchface, my 15 minutes of fame!

    In following the tradition of not voting for oneself, I vote for Zylla.

  12. Zylla with “crotchwad.” I’ve been using it for days! Although, like the potential problem (thanks for harshing my mellow, Jack99!) with adding “rag” to make it gender-specific again, I worry that “crotchwad” could become a term for sanitary napkins.

    1. Sorry about that. I was thinking of a certain right wing racist journalist at the time.

      Wow, you have a GREAT avatar! Envy!

  13. WINNERS!

    I couldn’t pick just one.
    And I would give prizes to everyone but I can afford it. So I am awarding FOUR!

    Awards go to:






    Thanks to EVERYONE who participated! If you are a winner please send your shipping address in through our contact link with “Totally Crotchin’ Winner” somewhere in the message. I will send out the prizes after I get back from CSI-Con. So you should get them in about 3 weeks.

    Peace out my crotches.

  14. Thank you Surly Amy! I could be cute and make more crotch jokes, but the fact is, I am really thrilled! Thank you for letting this not so young, kinda average,
    not so appreciated, anonymous skeptic feel like a SUPERSTAR!

  15. Thank you! I am wildly excited about being one of the winners – and also wildly excited about getting a Surly necklace. Thank you for being so generous with your creations!

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