A Tale of Three Cryptids
Last week, a possible Chupacabra was spotted by a Texas teenager. The teen wasn’t sure what he was seeing – some mystical, rare creature, for sure! So he did the obvious thing:
“…it looks like nothing I have personally seen before,” Will said.
…
The animal was about 200 feet away when Pope fired three shots before the animal stopped moving.
A few days ago, a possible alien was found by a woman in China:
“My neighbors agreed it was like nothing we’d seen before,” she said. “It stopped eating cucumbers when we gave it peaches and now it won’t eat anything else.”
Recap: chupacabra got bullets and the alien got peaches.
Also last week, Sanger Paranormal of Central California posted the video results of their Bigfoot Expedition 2011. What, you didn’t know there was a Bigfoot Expedition happening this year? Well there was and it was awesome, apparently. They found Bigfoot! Sort of:
(via BadAss Digest)
OK yeah, Bigfoot smudged their car windows and got the hell out of there. California’s closer to Texas than China. Would you have taken the chance?
There is no other explanation for that smudge than bigfoot. duh.
I like the note on the video around 1:10, that bears do not have opposable thumbs. Well, the thing is… they do have pads that happen to fall in the place where these folks are thinking they see opposable thumbs. For instance:
http://www.naturepods.com/nature-field-guides/black-bears-naturepod-field-guide/black-bears-naturepod-heres-what-you-get
We’ve got a line of toes, a big pad, and then a little round pad. In this video, the line of toes & the big pad are clearly visible, the little round pad is not particularly visible in the video, but should be on the door exactly where they’re indicating an “opposable thumb”.
IOW, morons.
That creature is clearly not a chupacabra. It doesn’t even have any back spines.
If I had the time, I’d make a LOLcat out of those smudges and some kind of KITTEH IZ IN UR BIGFOOT message. Someone do that with these, please. It’s begging for it and will make the stupid more bearable.
This is what makes America so great. Unlike the commie Chinese, we have the God-given inalienable right to carry firearms around and shoot at stuff we can’t identify. Might be Sasquatch, might be my hairy friend, Paul. Won’t know until it’s lifeless at my feet and I can get a good look at it.
Why is the only photo of the ‘Chupacabra’ taken from a mile away? He’s shot it (*rolls eyes*), and has supposedly taken skin and hair samples, but he forgot to take another picture when he was up close? Or did he take another picture, and the website reporting the incident simply decided that the blurry, far-away photo of a shapeless lump was far more informative?
As for big foot, I’ve seen those exact marks on the inside of my car after having my friends dogs in there. Why did Bigfoot’s hands leave the same marks as his face? Does he have mucus-covered hands?
We have one we have one!!!!! No kidding!!!
http://www.channel3000.com/news/28627531/detail.html
The greater Twin Cities Region (including portions of Wisconsin) will NOT be left behind in the cryptozoology race.
So they left TWO vehicles in the woods but Bigfoot only checked out the Ford F-150. I think the only possible conclusion is that Bigfoot is a Ford man.
If I had only KNOWN it was actually bigfoot I could have taken some footage of our vehicle with a smudge like that after we drove through a “safari” a few weeks ago and what I thought was a bison, but now know to be bigfoot, slobbered all over one side of the car. Another opportunity missed. *sigh*
Same song different verse:
http://skepchick.org/2009/09/so-sad-when-superstars-get-old/
Hypotheses for car window smudge:
1) Regular Bear — http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=bear+window&view=detail&mid=093EEAB61387A1523844093EEAB61387A1523844&first=0&FORM=LKVR24
2) Yogi Bear
3) Bigfoot
In regards to number two *hehe*; considering the quality of the recent movie a considerable amount more feces would have been involved.
.
hehe *number two* hehe
Did II see within that window smudge the outline of the virgin mary!!!!
According to the article the teenager said about his kill: “No hair on it at all, the back legs were shriveled up, and I honestly think it was a chupacabra.”
The kid’s father said, about the theory it was a sick animal: “I can believe it either way, it looks like nothing I have personally seen before.”