Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
– Benjamin Franklin
I was listening to the latest Savage Love podcast on the way to work this morning and Dan Savage, as always, gave me cause to think. A woman called in because a friend of hers had confided in her that she was having an affair. The friend had asked the woman not to tell her own husband or her friend’s husband (the two couples were close friends). As part of the advice he gave, Savage said that one of the most unfair things the friend had done was to ask the woman to keep this secret from her own husband. He said that it’s unfair to tell a person something and expect them to keep it secret from their partner or spouse because healthy relationships mean not keeping any secrets. When you tell one person, you should assume you are also telling their spouse.
What do you think? Do you keep friends’ confidences from your partner? When you tell a friend a secret, do you assume they will tell their partner? When a close friend gets into a serious relationship does that make you re-think whether you can confide in them?
The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays at 3pm ET.