I don’t know about you, but when I was in grade five, the girls and boys were separated and taken to watch our respective videos on our changing bodies. This, I imagine, would have been uncomfortable under any circumstance, but this was Catholic school (read: sexually repressed). I was in no way accustomed to such clinical terms as “ovaries” or “fallopian tubes” or “menstruation.”
Hey, I was 10. What do you want from me? I think I showed incredible maturity by not giggling uncontrollably.
But here I am, 17 years later, perfectly comfortable talking about my period with anyone who will listen. And, while it may not always be an appropriate topic of conversation, the human body is not in itself obscene and is nothing to be afraid of.
Democratic state representative Scott Randolph was just trying to make a point. During a floor debate in which his Republican colleagues were arguing against business regulations, Randolph got fed up. Tired of hearing how Republicans are supposedly all about small government, yet have no trouble sticking their noses into truly private matters, Randolph indicated that maybe his wife should “incorporate her uterus.”
Maybe it’s just me, but I think that’s super funny. But to the Florida House GOP? Not so much. Evidently, the word “uterus” is not appropriate for the austere halls of the Florida legislature.
Because, you see, they have to protect the children! Mentioning the clinical term for a woman’s baby incubator might make young pages and messengers uncomfortable.
Well, obviously. Young ears shouldn’t be exposed to the word used for a body part possessed by more than half of the world’s population. Scandalous!
But there is a bigger problem here. Clearly, the Florida Republican Party has not grown accustomed to the human body. And, because my beneficence knows no bounds, I want to help with this. I mean, how can they possibly pass abortion restrictions without knowing the basics of how the body operates?
Florida Republicans, I will help desensitize you from icky words like “uterus,” “vulva,” “ovaries,” and “phalanges.” From now on, and until further notice, I will tweet words like these to you until you can comfortably discuss your prostate freely with strangers. I invite the people of the Interwebs to help by tweeting medical terminology for body parts to the Florida GOP (@FloridaGOP). Use the hashtag #OMGuterus.
We do it because we care.