One of the best things about being a writer for this blog is the back-channel email distribution list where we toss out ideas, drunken emails and interesting links and comment on them. From time to time, I’ll be posting a segment of these so you guys can share some of the random hilarity.
Last week, our discussion was around the mysterious disappearing OB tampons reported here.
The conversation went something like this:
WTF?!? People don’t work this hard to get heroin.
“this is like taking my right to breathe”
Hello whut. Because buying a particular brand of tampon is a basic human right, apparently.
You know that time in high school when you got your period early and didn’t have any o.b. in your purse so you spent the day stuffing paper towels in your pants?
Now you know what Darfur is like.
No, Tracy with no e, not a basic human right â€¦ A BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE.
Strangely, I use o.b. tampons, and have not noticed the disappearance. I assume this is due to my need to have what my family calls “the Cold War Stash” of supplies under the bathroom sink. Does it qualify as hoarding if it’s less than 10 of each item?
I also use(d?) ob. But I didn’t notice because if you have a baby you don’t get a period until god declares you pure again. So the last time I bought a box of huge ass absorbency obs, it was almost two years ago.
And I still find those fuckers everywhere I go. Like goddamn Legos and Lite Brite bulbs. They live in the crevices of my floorboards. In my car. In my pockets. I think I even gave 40 to Amy last year. AND THEY’RE STILL EVERYWHERE!
In fact I just found 12 that were actually in my vagina. In their wrapper.
Hahahahah! It’s true! I keep finding the ones you gave me and I have even moved!
I don’t like non-applicator tampons, but I get cross by Tampax Pearl, which has a super-smooth plastic applicator “like pearls”. Ridiculous waste of resources. That said, I got a free one with a regular pack
and it did slide in like a lubed cucumber.
Not that I’ve ever lubed a cucumber, you understand.
Didn’t I have a behind the scenes at skepchick feature at one point? Where I posted emails? Can I post this? I am dying here.
But then everyone will know I don’t lube my cucumber!!
Is that supposed to be news, Tracy?
If I still needed tampons, I’d cut a bitch to get some OBs during a shortage. Those little bastards are the only ones that didn’t feel like dry cotton finger of Satan.
Heheh Satan is a huge evil red leathery dude with slim white cotton fingers.
HEY WAIT WHADDYA MEAN NEWS?
*mutter grumble vagina complain*
Edward Tampon Hands
And the tampons are also scissors