The Chemtrails are Beautiful Today

Sunday morning I was staring at a beautiful clear sky… no clouds (because it was like 2°F, but I was in my warm car, so I wasn’t offended by the cold and I could appreciate the sunny day.)

Staring at the sky, I couldn’t help but notice the airplane trails streaked across the otherwise flawless blue canopy. Then I giggled to myself and, since I was a passenger in the car, I thought the only appropriate action to take at that very moment was to tweet this:

The sky is clear. The chem trails look especially beautiful this morning.

Turns out, a nice gentleman with an absurd understanding of the world has a Twitter search saved for “chem trails”, and thought I would love his video!

Fabian Calvo

@dELYSEious Check out my videos on Chem Trails in Florida. Crazy.

Below is the video he sent me… and I thought about dissecting it myself. But then I thought I’d turn it into a pop quiz!

I need you to list each fallacy you notice in the video. Tell me what the fallacy is, why it’s wrong, and back up your answers. This quiz accounts for 100% of your grade this semester and there are no make ups. Ad homs will cost you 1 letter grade each.

Extra credit for commenting on the video after the fold. You have 3 hours from the time you press play to finish this quiz. GO!

Your after-the-fold video is totally unrelated to anything skeptical (except that the people… and animals… pictured are actually related to a Skepchick… so I guess the video is technically “related” to skepticism.) It only serves as a chaser. Your brain hurts… take in some of this baby falling down laughing:


Elyse MoFo Anders is the bad ass behind forming the Women Thinking, inc and the superhero who launched the Hug Me! I'm Vaccinated campaign as well as podcaster emeritus, writer, slacktivist extraordinaire, cancer survivor and sometimes runs marathons for charity. You probably think she's awesome so you follow her on twitter.

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  1. I like the following comment on YouTube:
    “I agree with everything you say! You are definitely not crazy, like all those other people said! I am glad you deleted their comments, because they are just trying to cover up the truth!”

  2. No fallacies in there that Haloperidol can’t fix.

    And “chemical dump?!” Ridiculous. That was clearly an apparition of the Virgin Mary (Our Lady of Chem Trails).

  3. The government is poisoning us in order to control us via vaccines and sprayed chemicals that give us autism. This makes total sense. Any parent of an autistic child will tell you that it’s really easy to get someone with autism to do what you want.

  4. Some observations:
    Those are clouds. Those… uggggghhhh.
    How does one ‘spray’ strips of metal? Wouldn’t that be ‘dumping’ strips of metal in the… god dammmit.
    Why is he wearing my sunglasses? WHY IS HE WEARING MY SUNGLASSES?!
    *brain drying up*
    Is Delaney a chemtrail? Is she… wearing my… sunglasses… with, dinosaur… or is it a froggy…?

  5. If the government is trying to control all of us, then why are they trying to kill all of us. Dead bodies are hard to control, they just lay there and don’t do anything you want, unless…oh it’s so simple! Zombie Army!

  6. Maybe I go too easy on people, but at the beginning of the video (the chemtrail one, not the cute baby one), I was thinking “could be a Poe.” But by the end I was more of the mind that the blogger needs to be on 4B at the hospital where I work.

  7. “They must have been put there during the night because they weren’t there a few days ago…”?!? Of course they were put there during the night! That’s the only time that the chupacabra are able to fly high enough to do it without being seen! And dude, you blew your cover! By saying that, the conspiracy is going to know that you aren’t just a late night AM junkie and that you realize the firmament is real (because, after all, how else could chemtrails last so long?)! Get to the beach and let the dolphins know that you’re looking for Hagbard. I’ll cover the flax.

  8. Wow.

    Just, wow.

    No logical fallacies there, just a complete detachment from reality.

    I was disappointed by the fact that he didn’t call out the Illuminati by name and he never explained the role of Grey Aliens in the chem-trail cover-up.

    I mean, when you’re more than half-way-to-crazy, you might as well finish the trip, right?


  9. I had to stop the video prematurely due to increased cranial pressure that was leading to a massive head explosion. Fortunately, Delaney is the perfect therapy to avert that situation.

  10. Tinfoil acts as an impermeable shield against chemicals.

    Chemicals can be designed to affect human neurophysiology so it makes a lot of sense to shield the skull with tinfoil against airborne chemical agents.

    Anyone concerned with the effects of “chemtrails” should immediately shield their head with tinfoil, and assume a protective stance that minimizes contact with the environment:

    1. Sit or lie down. Most chemicals will dissipate before reaching all the way to ground
    2. Curl legs and arms close to the chest to reduce skin surface exposure.
    3. Place a digit, such as a thumb or toe into your mouth and breath slowly through your nose.
    4. Stay positive. Think of happier times. It is helpful to repeat a happy thought aloud such as “momma” or “babba”

    Following these simple steps will keep citizens as safe as possible from air-dispersed neurotoxins.

  11. I would advise the man in the video NOT to use “tinfoil” as his shield.
    He is clearly using mushrooms and I have learned by having a lovely pizza ruined by liquid aluminum that it does not play well with mushrooms.

    If, on the other hand, he is using actual TINfoil. Carry on.

  12. I’m going to assume he said Geo engineers, as in the people who worked on the Metro. Their increasing bitterness over the end of Geo has caused them to blame the hoax of global warming. As revenge, they support spraying chemicals to sterilize the population, a kind of spray to spay program, I suppose. This would help tie up that one thread, anyway.

    After being so frightened by the clouds, I’m surprised he didn’t include anything about those power lines.

  13. Whoa! That’s a full chem-trail all the way!
    Double chem-trail! Oh my god! Double chem-trail!
    It’s a double chem-trail all the way! yeah!
    Oh my god!

    What does this mean?
    It’s so bright, so vivid.
    Double chem-trail,
    it’s so intense!

  14. My advice to Fabian: 1. Get a pilot’s license. 2. fly a jet plane real high. 3. Watch what goes on behind the plane. 4. Feel really, really foolish.

  15. Fabian4liberty is Fabian Calvo former candidate for state representative in Florida district 45 (he lost).He is also a conservative radio talk show host (ala Alex Jones apparently). He has 39 more…er…interesting? videos on YouTube.Gee,I wonder why he lost?

  16. He used lots of arguments from authority, such as, “lots of scientists are saying this including geoengineers,” without specifying any names or evidence.

    Then at the end he uses scare tactics by telling us the NWO is out to kill us all, or brainwash us. Whichever one of the two.

  17. “They’re trying to control the temperature to stop the hoax of global warming”
    But… if it’s a hoax then why do they need to control the temperature to stop it? O.o

  18. Wow, just wow, batshitcrazy wow. I had an intense and busy day at work, a nice relaxing evening with some scrumptious linguine marinara and now I turn on my laptop and get served a great desert of chocolate bat shit cake covered in more crazy sauce then any one person should be allowed to anally leak in an entire life time. Fabian4liberty is simply amazing, a true American treasure in need of a burial.

  19. OMFSM! I’m still laughing my butt off. Definitely not clouds? That’s when I started laughing too hard to hear any more. Still ROTFLMAO

  20. @gwenwifar: Clouds are part of weather, weather is part of climate, climate is a conspiracy, and therefore clouds do not exist. It all makes perfect sense if everyone would just extract the small particle of brain lodged in their skulls first.

  21. Wake up, Sheeple! You’re being lied to…listen to the evidence of your own eyes… stop vaccinating… scientifical… blood-drinking lizards… baa-aa…

    Ugh. Infected. Baby. Soothes. Cute. Ahhh.

  22. To his credit he does mention (at 1:33) that “they” are dumping “borium” at one point. The could explain the almost unconscious feeling I get when watching this.

    Yes, this really is a huge dump of something…

  23. I’ve given up talking to these clowns. There’s no reasoning with them. You can’t argue rationally with this level of stupid or batshit crazy.

    I’ve pointed out to them that their “hypothesis” would require that every airline employee in the world would have to be a party to this scheme., not to mention everyone that works on/with aircraft in all the militaries of the world. The chances of one or more someones leaking this are about 100%.

    I don’t mention my extensive contact with aircraft for my whole career (or my pilot’s license), otherwise I’m accused of being “one of them.”

    Maybe that accounts for the greyish cast to my skin these days? It could expalin why my skin is getting so dry and scaly these days, too…. ;-)

  24. ZOMG!!! CHEMTRAILS!!!!!!!!

    I go BONKERS when people try to support this theory. So much so that I spent an afternoon making a video about it!

    I think all the skepchicks and skepdudes would enjoy my retort…please watch it so it appears higher in the youtube search results when people search for “chemtrail conspiracy”!!!

    Of all the pseudo-science and conspriacy theories out there, chemtrails gets under my skin the most (LITERALLY!!! ZOMG THE BARIUM IS HEATING MY BLOOD!!!!). It’s not necessarily the most harmful thing to believe, nor is it even the dumbest. But it’s the type of person who believes in it that gets me. Aside from the major nutcases who run the chemtrails websites, a lot of the people who believe in the chemtrail nonsense are people who should know better. They are atheists and activists who are otherwise intelligent and who have a decent grasp on what’s going on in the world and who don’t necessarily fall for the standard bullshit.

    And then they see a contrail and tell everyone around them know that it’s a chemtrail, as if to say “check it out. i’m smarter and less gullible than you. i’m special because i have special information. i’m awake, you’re asleep. i win.”

    i’ve stopped bothering to argue about it. now i just agree with them over-enthusiastically:


    i was just recently in palm springs. i woke up at 6am and there were “chemtrails” all over the sky……..blanketing the empty, barren desert. no minds to control. no crops to poison. no water to taint. no babies to autism-ize.


  25. I actually had a work colleague TEXT me about the “chem trails” yesterday. This is the same person who thinks 9/11 didn’t happen and that the videos are hoaxes, that 2012 is real and will be brought about by Obama, and that herbal supplements cure EVERYTHING.

  26. Just think, the terrorists (our government) inadvertently caused the first responders to get sick because those jets were loaded with silicon carbide and thorium.

    I love it when a good conspiracy comes together.

  27. It was baby Delaney that inspired me to write my first post here. It was also baby Delaney that got me past the moderators. Apparently if you compliment someone’s kid the parents like that. As for the asshattery in the video…I’m too tired to deal with idiots now. It’s too late. -_-

  28. -Chemtrails? I think he means ‘contrails’
    -He’s looking at clouds.
    -Contrails are condensation, just like clouds. They aren’t sprayed.
    -Little metal strips? Does he mean chaff? Which is used to munge radar.
    -digging a ditch is geoengineering.
    -How many women wait until they are well into their thirties to try to have children?
    -Oh! fuck!! not vaccines and autism again!!! If you broaden the definition of anything you will find more of it?

    We gotta fight the corporations man. No way, man, its the new world order.

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