My husband works. A lot. Like a ridiculous amount a lot. Which is pretty much fine… except that we have to do a work trade-off thing because our kids are small and needy and annoying and someone has to take care of them. So every extra hour that Brian puts into work is an hour that I don’t get to work on WTF or Skepchick or that parenting podcast that I’m on that no one knows the new name of. In fact, he’s been so busy this week that I still have emails from Tuesday that I haven’t replied to. Not to mention that we’re suffering from a lack of marriage TLC time.
But you know, it’s not that big of a deal. I mean, it sucks, but it’s all part of the vows. And you don’t commit your life to another person thinking that there’s not going to be weeks or months along the way when you don’t have time for each other. And if you do think that, you have no business getting married.
In fact, I’d say that Brian and I are fantastic at dealing with the hard times. In fact, in fact, the harder the times, the better we pull together.* We’ve been through illness, death, near death, financial struggles, and if you thought reading about my lastÂ pregnancyÂ was annoying… Brian’s put up with me being pregnant FOUR times. Dude’s a goddamn saint.
Honestly, I think that the “for worse” part of your marriage is the reason you marry who you marry. I mean, who can’t you for-better it up with? Based on Skepchick parties, if “for better” is where it’s at, I could marry ALL OF YOU**!
I think the “better” and the “worses” are easy. It’s the middles that make marriage difficult. When you’re standing there, in front of everyone you know, thinking about how the good and bad will balance themselves out, you aren’t thinking about how better vs worse is only like 2% of the time and the rest is brushing teeth, doing dishes, paying the electric bill, bickering over who last stayed up all night with the baby (me, if you’re keeping track) and hoping “for worse” doesn’t have an exclusionary clause for weird underwear stains when the other partner does the laundry.
It’s the monotony of daily life that, IMO, makes or breaks a marriage. Yet somehow we promise to stay together through the times that bring us closer… the good times and the bad times. When really, you need to find someone you can stick with even though they fart all night in their sleep.
Good times? Bad times? Holy-shit-if-you-tell-me-that-joke-again-I’ll-rip-your-fucking-teeth-out times? What makes a relationship? What breaks it? What do you wish you knew about relationships? What advice do you have or want about relationships?
The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays at 3pm ET.