AI: Make a Toast!
I find myself in festive times. On more than one occasion as of late, I have found myself with glassed raised high in joyful celebration of life and friendship. But the right words often escape me at just that particular moment and the thought occurred to me that we need some good skeptical toasts!
With that in mind I offer this slightly rephrased gem and ask you to play along:
There are good chicks,
and there are bad chicks,
the ones that refuse to see.
But the best chicks are skepchicks,
and may they always be!
What would be a good skeptical toast?
The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays at 3pm ET.
“Think.”
May you always enjoy the questioning, even if you don’t get answers.
May you find all the joy that reality brings.
“No bollocks.”
Here’s to life, liberty, and the pursuit of drunkenness!
(Or the old standard: Salut!)
To paraphrase an old Irish toast:
To our matter wives and our antimatter mistresses. May they never meet!
“May all your wooing be strictly romantic.”
To paraphrase another old Irish toast:
May you be dead half an hour before the priest shows up.
Skol.
Means “cheers” in the Scandinavian languages.
I’ve always really liked this old irish prayer as a toast, except for the last line:
May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
The sun shine warm upon your face
The rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
we should come up with a good skeptical revision for that last line and then it would be perfect!
May your research always prove fruitful
May your logic always prove sound
And may you never know the sorrow of an empty glass
Here’s to thinking thoughts we thunk
Here’s to drinking till we’re drunk
Here’s to health and happy times
Here’s to open hearts and minds
Silly girl! The appropriate toast is always:
“Thank you for 14 wonderful years. Happy anniversary!”
To Skepticism, the only thing we can be sure of!
How ’bout something from Corinthians 15:32 with a tagline?
“Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.”
And we all know that there’s fuckin’ nothing after that so drink up ye skeptics and live!
I also like George Carlin’s “may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
Ede, bibe, lude; post mortem nulla voluptas
Man, I got all excited that you were talking about heated bread products, and got deeply disappointed. In response, I offer my selection of Toast-related haiku:
TOAST – canto 1
darkness knob is set
to three – carbon and smoke fill
my nose – one’s the same
margarine, cream cheese,
peanut butter or jelly –
all spreads are welcome
cinnamon sugar
sparkles on its rough surface
i need chocolate milk
no time for bacon
nor for eggs over easy
just juice and hot bread
no rich foods when ill
you can keep down the first
food that nourishes
diner food forever
the salty tang stays with me
creamed chipped beef on toast
—
MORE TOAST – canto 2
poultry will not do
nor asparagus, nor cheese
only this goes with tea
there’s nothing to eat
all of the cupboards are bare
wait i have some bread
simple, elegant
economical, filling
warm, brown, crisp, eaten
baguette, seeded rye
whole wheat or a simple white loaf
the source matters not
a lazy sunday
a simple breakfast in bed
crumbs between the sheets
fried eggs and ketchup
or bacon and hp sauce
plain bread just won’t do
—
TOAST REDUX – canto 3
my wife likes houmous
or peanut butter with it:
i like marmalade
i don’t understand
how the flavour is improved
when cut into shapes
like the great phoenix
to be reborn dough must be
cast twice to the flame
love, hate: divided
marmite polarises all
but don’t blame the toast
lobster thermidor?
steak au poivre? champagne? foie gras?
caviar? no, toast.
with greasy fingers
i touch the brand new curtains
it was SO worth it.
—
THE END
As for Irish toasts (with the god part changed), my favorite is:
May those who love us love us
And those who do not, may [we] turn their hearts
And if [we] cannot turn their hearts, may they turn their ankles
So we will know them by their limping.
Ladies and gentlemen, in 1851 Leon Foucault demonstrated, by means of his famous pendulum, the angular speed of rotation of the earth. If you would all raise your glasses – that’s right – I would like you all to join me in making the world spin just a little faster…
Cheers!
@w_nightshade: Are you English by any chance?
@James Fox: Not exactly, I am an American who now lives in Scotland. I picked up… habits.
@w_nightshade:
Me, too, but it’s too hot for toast. BTW, COTW…
Greetings All!
I’m new, and i’ve been a bit of a lurker for a number of months now. This is what brought me out of my little hobbit hole.
My favorite toast is a lovely Irish one:
As you slide down the bannister of life, May the splinters never point in the wrong direction!
With Love,
Lycan-Girl
@Buzz Parsec: Two words: MELBA TOAST
And thank yew.
@mrmisconception: We usually spell it “SkÃ¥l”, though.
As there’s some overlap between skepticism and enthusiasm for all things piratey, I suggest “Yohoho and a bottle of rum!”