Dear Surly Amy,
I find myself in my early 40s and still single. I have had relationships, but they didn’t work out. Recently the women I’ve been seeing just want to be friends. It seems like they either don’t want to date any more or they want to date someone else. It’s also a bit disappoointing to know that there are adult women out that are too young for me. Either I’m the “old dude.” or I believe that if we did date, we’d eventually grow apart. Still, I’d like to think there is still someone out there for me. Do you have any advice?
My response after the jump.
Dear Hopeful Fortysomething,
My advice is to stop worrying about it altogether. Also, you totally need to get over yourself. That, and broaden your horizons.
Ultimately, you need to be happy with just yourself. Stop worrying about finding a relationship and instead focus on things that make you happy. It’s a funny thing but when you really stop caring about hooking up, you are more likely to hook up. People are more interesting and appealing when they are happy, self-assured and have interesting things going on in their life. So get some new things going on in your life and you might find people are interested in you.
As for being disappointed about the fact that there are adult women that are too young for you, well that you just need to get over. Some women will be too old for you too and some women will be too young and some won’t give a shit how old you are at all. You need to accept yourself for who you are and learn to be ok with it regardless of what is going on in the minds of the women (young and old) around you. We all grow old. Seriously, get over it. People will either like you or they won’t for your entire life.
By broaden your horizons I mean go new places and find new faces. If you have indeed consistently run into people that are either too young or not interested in you or interesting to you, then go places you wouldn’t normally go. Perhaps you are spending too much time in an environment that attracts a much younger-than-you group of people or you are just hanging in the same crowd. There are approximately 6,829,991,253 people in the world. I’m sure that a lot of them would love to date you. You just haven’t met them yet.
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*Ask Surly Amy is meant for entertainment purposes only. All advice should be taken with as much skepticism as anything else, really.