Oh, please. Like no one knew.
A smattering of newspapersÂ ran stories yesterday about allegedÂ former contractors at AreaÂ 51 who are now talking about their experiences at the “mysterious” base in the Nevada desert.Â No longer sworn to secrecy, folks are free to come forward, andÂ talesÂ are surfacingÂ confirming the strict security measures alwaysÂ reported at Groom Lake.
According to the sources in the newspaper articles, there in fact have been highly secret, highly classified military projects and aircraft tests being conducted at the base since its inception. Unfortunately, none of the reports from former contractors confirms any of the outlandish stories of crashed alien spacecraft, dead aliens, live aliens, or reverse engineering of alien technology that conspiracy nutters have repeated for decades.
Stupid truth. Ruining all the fun.
Anyway . . . . In honor of Area 51 coming out of the closet:
Do you dig air shows? Are you into the bad ass aircraft that was tested at Area 51? Have youÂ ever seen a UFO? What’s your best guess as to what it actually was? Ever been abducted? Is alien sex all anal? Do aliens hold you afterward, or leave ’cause you know, they have to get up early for work the next day? Why don’t they call when they say they’re going to call? I just don’t understand it. I can’tÂ do this anymore. It tears me up inside. I’m a man, damn it. I’m sensitive. . . .Â I’ll be at my mother’s for a few days.
The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays at 3pm ET.