I just tweeted “If I was Harry Potter I’d just do a spell instead of washing. EXSMELLYARMPITS!” which is funny because it’s a pun on a Potter-world spell, you see. Honestly, it’s funny. Anyway, it made me think of one of my favourite tweets by my bro-in-law @stubarb1 posted a few weeks ago:

I’m not trying to point the finger of blame at Hogwarts but what the fuck were the wizards doing 1939 through to 1945?

He makes an excellent point. So while I was amusing myself thinking of this, I decided to search ‘harry potter’ on Twitter to see what other people were saying about it. Turns out there’s a Potter movie marathon on TV in the USA, so there are lots of tweets. Y’know…I’m not saying that I’m superior or anything, but I did get a giggle from these that I’m sure the authors didn’t intend. From someone called tresleybossdon:

Watchin harry potter…im ashamed エ feel like a lame

Dude…don’t watch it then. Or, watch it, feel ashamed, but don’t tweet about it. That way Harry Potter can be your secret shame. Like wanking when you think about pantyhose.

From haiderabbasi, a pearl of wisdom:

Harry Potter movies are misleading and bisexual. Books FTW!

Yes, books for the win! Like dictionaries! For defining words like ‘misleading’ and ‘bisexual’!

I am seriously hoping the extra letter in this confession from anythingzombie is a typo:

And that’s all I have to say. Twitter status: Watching Harry Potter ’cause he’s one of my first lovers.

As for this tweet by Haleighhh

Chinese food and Harry Potter movie marathon? Oh yeaah :)

…I don’t think I saw that one. Was it the movie before Harry Potter and the Cheesy Pizza? My mistake, it’s the one after this one that weeblesue is watching:

settling in for a long night of Harry Potter and filing.

JK Rowling really ran out of plot ideas after a while. Fortunately, she can get advice from literary master mariahlamboy:

harry potter is so eww mad weird lol

I took a while deciding who to give the last word to, but I think it has to be this gem from ANNZac because the only bit I understood was ‘jizz’:

Worst job in the world: jizz mopper at ‘The Wizarding World of Harry Potter’

Big thanks to all the authors of these tweets, if you come across this post and want yours removed, just give me a yell :)

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  1. what the fuck were the wizards doing 1939 through to 1945

    Actually, during WWII the wizards were fighting Grindelwald, the greatest dark wizard before Voldemort, until he was finally defeated by Dumbledore. Sheesh, everyone should know that.

  2. Besides, according to the movie Highlander (Director’s Cut Edition), the immortal Connor Macleod was in France fighting the Nazis during WW2. What more help could we possibly ask for?

  3. Nope, in the case of Harry Potter, all the movies are better than the books by a large margin. Seems people with talent and editing skills got their hands on some marginally readable material and improved it immensely.

    I’m not sure what’s supposed to be wrong with this one:

    Chinese food and Harry Potter movie marathon? Oh yeaah

    Now if it had said “and the” I’d say your comment is valid.

  4. Actually, a huge LOL at that last one for linking Clerks, Harry Potter and theme parks in one sentence!

    @Beowulff: Whoa, I never made the connection till now! Wheeeee geekdom! :) *high five*

  5. Actually, the wizards were dealing with a whole another problem of their own called Gellert Grindewald, who is an extremely dangerous dark wizard. Maybe wizards were involved, and Grindewald and WWII are related. Who knows?

  6. HAHAHA!!!
    I love the Harry Potter books, and am not ashamed. I listen to them over and over again at work (Stephen Fry, British versions), and now I’ve started listening to them in Spanish in an effort to get a better feel for the language, since I know the English version so well.

  7. I am also a Harry Potter fan, the books and the films (although the first two films were ropey as hell). Well, you’d have to be to make an exspelliarmus pun. But still…if I’m going to gush on Twitter I like to at least make sure I’m making sense :D

    I think @stubarb1 may have been suggesting that the wizards were fighting for the nazis…

  8. Yeah, well, I hear the “Deathly Hallows” movie has been split into two. The seventh movie is to be called Harry Potter and the Missing Plot Points. :-)

  9. well all I can say is Harry Potter is the best thing the UK has given us since English muffins! Love the Potter!

  10. ” Yes, books for the win! Like dictionaries! For defining words like ‘misleading’ and ‘bisexual’!”

    saying something is “Misleading and Bisexual” is intentional btw.

    It kind of came out of people saying things are “fake and gay”.

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