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Enjoy the Super Bowl Ads Without Watching Them

Last night I was at an event that had promised the US feed with all the ads, but then didn’t have them. I panicked and asked Twitter and Facebook friends to fill me (and the rest of the bar) in on what was happening. A few Facebook pals were seriously committed to the cause.

After the jump, enjoy 80+ out-of-context descriptions of ads, like “Tim Tebow tackled his mom. Violence against moms is funny and republican,” and “Fiddling Beaver,” and “Blind man slug bug.” What?

Thanks to everyone for chipping in!

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca is a writer, speaker, YouTube personality, and unrepentant science nerd. In addition to founding and continuing to run Skepchick, she hosts Quiz-o-Tron, a monthly science-themed quiz show and podcast that pits comedians against nerds. There is an asteroid named in her honor.

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  1. This was much better. These didn’t make me
    feel like I should apologize to all men for the years of oppression and abuse they have had to endure at the hands of women like me.

    I’m also less insulted and sad. Next year I’m watching the Super Bowl from you FB page.

  2. They missed the ONLY ad I enjoyed. The whole party I was at agreed – Google’s ad was the only good one.

    The misogyny was pretty intense this year. All heteronormative nonsense.

  3. I’m in Canada so the commercials were like:

    Olympics commercial with regal music like the queen is going down the slopes, Olympics commercial with slow ballady self-important song, Olympics commercial to buy glasses at Petro Can to support the athletes, and Olympics commercial to let me know the Olympics is happening soon in case I hadn’t already worked that out.

    When did the Olympics turn from fun yet competitive sportsmanship and supporting amateur athletes in the spirit of competition, to regal and emotional serioustime?

  4. It seemed that the cumulative message was that if a beer addled guy could learn to adequately fiddle his girlfriends beaver she’d let him watch football.

  5. The worst thing is that this wont be the last time we have to see these commercials, as I just realized when I saw one while watching an episode of Buffy on Nothing kills the mood more thoroughly than sitting through a minute long misogynistic Dodge Charger advert. Oh, that poor, poor henpecked man… Bleh.

  6. I know, right? The misogyny was brutal. It’s as if they don’t know that women actually watch the Super Bowl. And that women like football.

    I’m more surprised at Jim Nance for getting sucked in to the misogyny.

  7. @piledhighanddeep:

    I didn’t watch the Super Bowl and neither did my husband. I forced him to go shopping with me. He had no choice. He could not say no. He had to go. Because I own him.

    All of his other friends were drinking beer and eating wings and hanging out with scantily clad beer-and-wing-serving waitresses. And they had no pants on.

    And because I’m even more cruel, I make him drive a Camry.

    (One of those statements is true.)

  8. I also didn’t watch the Super Bowl and I enjoyed a similar experience to Rebecca (did tune in to watch the Who play halftime). I was reading all the tweets from my twitter friends about the commercials, it was fun.

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