Afternoon Inquisition

AI: VD Day

“Happy VD babe!” He posts on my Facebook page…

Victory Day indeed… :p

Back in history class in high school one year, some chicks were discussing the gifts their guys had given them for Valentine’s Day.

“I got chocolates!” boasted Stephanie. “I got a card!” enthused Dannielle.

“What did you get Karen?” asked Stephanie.

“I had a really great fuck,” I responded truthfully.

Everyone went silent, but I don’t know why…

What Valentine’s Day gifts have you sent or received?

What’s the best (or worst) gift you’ve given or received?

The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear daily at 3pm ET.

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  1. Meh. I’m sure over the years I’ve gotten high quality jewelry, dinners, sex and such, and I’ve loved them all. Being an overindulged American woman, I’d have to say I like having great weather and a bit of quiet.

  2. They went silent because fantastic sex should never be a “gift” it should be something both parties enjoy and have fun with not something one party decides to give to another.

    Or it could be that you were in high school.

  3. Syphillis!

    No, kidding. I’ve never liked Valentine’s Day, so I’ve tended to not really observe it, even when I was dating somebody around that time.

    Although, I took my first girlfriend out to a Valentine’s Day jazz brunch, just for the sheer novelty of “correctly” celebrating Valentine’s Day for once. That pretty much got the whole thing out of my system, so I don’t feel the need to ever observe the day again.

  4. My wife is getting an uninterrupted massage tonight. Apparently I tend to get distracted half way through.

  5. @loudlyquiet I think they went silent because it was an unexpected thing to say – moreover, it was intended to be humorous, as is this anecdote. That’s how this post was to be construed.

    Or it could be that you are in high school.

    At any rate, if something is a “gift”, it’s not implicit that only the receiver enjoys it.

    Chill out.

  6. tim3p0 and i have been together 10 years, today…
    valentine’s day was very good to me, in my short dating life before i met tim. both of my major serious relationships began there.

    other than that, i tend to think it’s mostly a bullshit corporate consumerist blah blah blah, but i’m not completely above it…it can be fun to play along. having said that, we don’t generally do the whole gifts/flowers/chocolates thing, unless you count the kit kat bar tim just brought me ;) and we very rarely go out, because everything is so crowded and gimmicky.

  7. My wife and I usually get each other a gift and I’ll cook a nice meal. The gifts aren’t usually anything too extravagant, but this year she did get me all the first ten Star Trek movies on Blu Ray. I’m very happy.

  8. @carr2d2: tim3p0 and i have been together 10 years, today…

    I cannot tell you what an amazing boon it is to a guy to have anniversaries in years ending in 0. The subtraction is soooo much easier.

  9. @Karen Stollznow: I actually did take it as amusing and thought I responded in kind. Hence the high school comment. Anything like that always seemed to result in shocked silence. I thought it made sense.

    I was chill. Relax. It’s VD.

  10. The guy and I are not terrible demonstrative. Valentine’s Day is usually ignored on unspoken general principal.

    Except once, about 5 years ago when he brought me the most gorgeous bouquet I’d ever seen. Heirloom tulips, cabbage roses and hyacinth (for scent) all in muted colors. It was completely unexpected and made me weak in the knees for a few minutes. I pressed three of the blooms in the illustrated Decameron he got me for our first Xmas together. (In wax paper, of course, so the pages weren’t stained.)

    There, I admitted it, I’m a big ole sentimental softy. Which points does one lose for that?

  11. Scoutgrrrl and I aren’t much for V Day. We like joke gifts and a nice dinner at home.
    This year I gave her one of the Treelobster cards (thanks Steve) and she made me one at work that says “You’re Fly!” I’m gonna make dinner in a little while.
    The best gift I’ve given her was when we were dating. I ordered her one of these:
    She loved it.

  12. My former husband once gave me a rose on Valentine’s Day. From a man who never even remembered my birthday, it was touching… until he said ‘Ellen [mutual friend] said I should give this to you.’ Our wedding anniversary was 2/11, and he missed that, too – it’s not that I wanted gifts; I just wanted a “Happy (special occasion).”

    That date has a better connotation now, as the Biophysicist & I met in person for the first time on that date, many years later. We probably embarrassed folk in Logan Airport by some excessive PDAing.

  13. I have broken up more than once on (or immediately before) St. V’s day. This year Chinese New Year day is the same day as St. V’s day – I was informed by my (Chinese) gf that I was to supply both a St. V’s gift and a Chinese New Year’s gift. Which, being a guy who’s spineless in the face of his gf, I did.

  14. I’m not much for “gifts because you have to”, even if that’s not why somebody gives you a gift. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I prefer “I saw this and thought of you” surprises on random days. I think it’s more comfortable because it feels more genuine and there is no expectation attached to it.

    I can’t remember any specific Valentine’s Day stuff… except one year, when I was in 1st grade, I was sick on Valentine’s Day and couldn’t pass out my cards/candy. I was pissed that mom wouldn’t let me go to school, too.

  15. Today is Valentine’s Day? Yeah, I have never been one for Hallmark type holidays. I prefer the giving something on a completely random day. I think it means more then “here, I got you something because I was supposed to.”

    I’ve never really given anything for V-Day, except those cards that everybody gave out in elementary school. My mom is usually the only person that gives anything, usually a gift card for something.

  16. The worst Valentine’s gift I have ever gotten was from my parents when I was a teenager. Nothing dents your self-esteem more than your parents giving you a Valentine’s gift because they feel sorry for you cause you weren’t one of the popular girls that got VD gifts.

  17. Best (husband): Agreement of “nothing.”

    Worst (ex): lingerie and a rented room at a run-down-looking hotel. There were mylar balloons in the room. At the time I thought it was a joke (I laughed a lot, he kind of laughed with me), but thinking back it might have been a bit of a serious gesture.

    Also, the lingerie didn’t fit.

  18. @loudlyquiet:

    They went silent because fantastic sex should never be a “gift” it should be something both parties enjoy and have fun with not something one party decides to give to another.

    I know this post has already been commented on, but while my own tastes also lead me to prefer that all the participants in a sexual encounter be getting enjoyment from it, I can’t say that mutual enjoyment is necessary for moral sexual behavior. To me, the morally essential component is consent.

  19. My wife doesn’t seem to be big on V-Day but likes it. I usually cobble together a homemade card that’s got some personal message involving puns, and she likes that, but she doesn’t have expectations of the day.

    Having said that, one of our fights occurred on a Valentine’s Day several years back when she wanted to go to a Christine Lavin concert and I didn’t want to leave the house. But the fact that it was Valentine’s was coincidental.

  20. @Akiko: My husband and I never cared about Valentine’s Day until February 14, 2005, when our fertility centre doc called to say that, after 5 years of trying, I was finally pregnant.

    So we call it Happy Peo Day, since our daughter’s name is Peo.

  21. I’ve gotten dumped for Valentine’s day before, so that would have to be the worst gift received, best one received………. honestly I don’t remember getting a gift that has been worth remembering. I’m sure I got a heart shaped choc. or something like that, but nothing that stands out. My love life seriously sucks.

  22. See, desipte knowing it was meant to be Valentines day I couldn’t help but reading that as “happy Venerial Disease babe!” which has completely different connotations and nicely links in with Josh’s comment.

    On a best/worst present could say worst is nothing but I can’t really say that I’ve ever been too bothered, best would probably be postsecret on valentines day as it was this year, made me smile.

  23. My various S.O.’s and I were never really big on Valentines day, but it was a good excuse to do some cool things.

    Renting a room for the weekend at a good hotel with a hot tub, pool and a bar on the grounds has to be one of the better ones. Sort of a resort getaway on the cheap…

    Can’t really be considered a gift since we both planned it ahead of time, but it was pretty cool, and we planned it for Valentines Day, so…..

    I did give my ex wife a t-shirt that said “Do I look like a freaking people person?” for Valentines day after we had broken up. She loved it too :)

  24. I’m really not into Valentine’s day. Just not my thing. But my boyfriend is, so we kind of celebrated, but nothing too fancy.

    I got him Zombieland on Blu Ray, and he took me out to a steak lunch yesterday (YUM!) It was rather nice. :) We also went to Ikea. And did other fun things. >:)

    It was pretty low-key.

  25. Never really gotten anything from a significant other (my niece gave me a lovely card yesterday… but she’s five, and everything she does is lovely). When I was married, it was more or less expected I would be the initiator… sometimes with disastrous results.

  26. Every year my family all exchanged chocolate and cards for Valentines’ Day, even from when we were very young. So it was always nice like that.

    This year, I gave Tim little heart candies that look like butts when held upside-down… and he gave me a plushie Spock!

  27. Er… I’m not certain this qualifies as a gift, but I had a first date with someone on Valentine’s and she broke up with me a year later, to the day.
    On reflection, perhaps it was a gift. A year seems to be my latest possible “sell by” date, so I guess it was a gift that she didn’t chuck me sooner.

  28. Valentine’s Day is my Mom’s birthday. We had a nice little party at my sister’s house — I have her a bread knife and a loaf of home-baked bread.

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