Afternoon Inquisition

AI: Speculate wildly

The Skepchick site was down for a while this afternoon. I swear I only looked at the server. I never touched it!!

What is your wild conspiracy theory for why the site went down? (Bonus points for involving recent news items or post topics.)


Bug_girl has a PhD in Entomology, and is a pointy-headed former academic living in Ohio. She is obsessed with insects, but otherwise perfectly normal. Really! If you want a daily stream of cool info about bugs, follow her Facebook page or find her on Twitter.

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  1. There’s no conspiracy here. Too many of us have just come to take this place for granted, and didn’t wish hard enough for a blog full of skeptical women being awesome, so the law of attraction lost its effect. Once it went down, however, thousands of bereft fans sent wails of distress out to the Universe, which brought the servers back online with the power of their positive thinking.

    So the cosmos just provided what everyone really wanted, once we wanted it hard enough. There’s nothing else going on. If anyone tries telling you it was a trial run of an attack by the reptilians who run Majestic-12 and who are preparing to bring down the entire internet (leaving only David Icke’s personal site and Timecube), DO NOT listen to them. For your own safety.

  2. Wow. The site was down? I didn’t notice.

    Stuff always goes down when I’m too busy with other stuff to notice. It’s always back by the time I have time to give a shit. It’s a conspiracy to take away every reason I have to complain. Except that I can still complain that I’m too busy.

  3. Well if it was the earthquake I will blame one of our Chicago area skepchicks I think the earthquake threw one of them out of bed and they landed on the reset button for the server. All Skepchicks have reset buttons in their house don’t they? Rebecca you should send out a memo saying from now on all skepchicks must be strapped into bed.

  4. It was Elyse.

    There is no evidence for this. That means that there is a massive cover-up going on somewhere (I suspect Amy’s involvement somehow, as well). Therefore there is lots of evidence for this. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

  5. The whole interwebs went down earlier today; I blame some yeast infection in the tubes. And where did that come from?? I think you know!

    Or – maybe Skepchick’s deal with Satan has expired, what with all that snow in DC proving that hell has frozen over.

  6. I did not see it down. Therefore it was not down. This downtime clearly is a figment of your imagination, caused by the many vaccinations you had as a child. After all, mercury causes brain damage, everybody knows that.

  7. Earwigs. They get into everything. They will tunnel into a brain, a server, or anything else so they can lay their eggs.
    Lemonade sweet lemonade.

  8. The Steve at Steve’s Web Hosting deeply regrets the extended outage that occurred today. We had left detailed instructions for the morning crew about feeding the squirrels, but NOOOO.

    Eventually the squirrels began losing energy as their meager mid-winter supplies of fat were exhausted, and finally the switching power supply just was not getting enough voltage.

  9. Obviously, the Skepchick voodoo priestesses made a pact with the devil in order to gain independence of thought, and the downtime was divine retribution.

  10. I’m currently shopping two conspiracy theories around at the moment.

    The first is that all of the donations to the 700 Club come from stoned teenagers who want to keep the show on the air because it’s fun to watch while high.

    The second is that Maury Povich is the actual father of nearly all the children who appear on his show. The DNA tests are actually a brilliant ruse (although specimens are taken, they are discarded. No real testing is conducted. Maury then “reads the results” from a blank piece of paper) to avert taking responsibility for his numerous illegitimate offspring.

    Damn…I should have read the whole question instead of just the first six words. Sorry.

  11. Ten billion years ago the great and scary Sally forsaw the cuming of the skepchicks and this displeased or. Sideways did Fred shlump the diamonds of skelling. yRRling dids’t srumstick ratchet the mooblinsh so maest the boolmering. Wast neicht the mulst. Thrstky whoc forcd unar ordl a tho lls ss arould; aosuij as s aouldth. oo}dow.d OIdfm’asidyuognas.akecn oasiun 4 mq[wi8081t2rhfcnid msa8 c[08easeunbmvs/lf vrcsoacMzanbu3q;4oc

    See it’s all clear. Just don’t do it again.

  12. Stinky McGee with his dookie/pee pee regions, and fucky-nooky accoutrements took up residence in the adjacent server. The SkepChick server stepped out to avoid the odor.

  13. It was Lady Gaga, obviously. She, and her Illuminati masters, had learned of Rebecca treating the Lady Gaga/Illuminati rumors on the SGU podcast.
    The site is only back up because they checked up on it and found that the SGU were actually fellow Illuminati members helping to cover up the truth.
    Ewige Blumenkraft!

  14. I didn’t observe it being down, so it was never actually down. In fact, nothing actually happens unless I’m around to observe it. The laws of physics are obviously too complex to happen on their own, so there has to be a GOD to continously guide everything. On the other hand, a GOD capable of continously guiding everything on the scale of a universe of the size presented to me in different forms of communication is just absurd, so the inescapable conclusion must be that GOD is continously guiding everything in a small bubble around me. When I move, stuff in front of me is created, while stuff behind me go back to chaos. This is not only the only logical conclusion from the basic premises, it’s also confirmed by numerous experiments. For instance, if I spin around quickly in one place, GOD’s capacity for creating stuff in my line of sight is overtaxed. I observe this as a blurring of my sight, and then dizziness as GOD tries to keep me from doing so again. Another piece of proof is that if I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, everything is completely dark, but once GOD is aware that I’m awake, stuff, and light from that stuff, is slowly created and everything in my room is visible and accessible to me, as if it really existed all the time.
    And third. Sometimes GOD reproduces something in the wrong place, or even swaps roads and houses around. If things were in their right places I’d obviously never have to search for them, and I’d never get lost driving.

    QED And now you may all disappear in a puff of logic.

  15. I think the real reason is obvious, and that is that this was caused by the increased solar activity that is heralding the apocalypse in 2012 as fortold by those wise Mayan people of old.

  16. @Bjornar: Ah, but quantum theory tells us that if you actually *had* observed the site being down, that observation would have changed the state of the site. So if only you *had* checked, you would have brought the site back up!

  17. Microchips! The aliens and the gob’mint are working together with Big Pharma and Corporations to destroy our privacy and monitor our every move! Virginia banned the use of microchips because they KNEW. The site went down because they turned the scanners on! THEY are reading every word, even as we type, because of microchips! How do you know you have one? You can’t see them! They’re micro! Did you ever get a vaccine? You’ve been IMPLANTED!

  18. @Ashley.Ele: Yes it did, look again.
    The Earth was never round. That has been proven time and again by the great scholars of the Flat Earth Institute. The entire “round Earth” conspiracy was promoted by BIG GLOBE to prop up their obscene profit margins.

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