I don’t remember my parents ever pushing the whole “save yourself until marriage” thing. Of course they encouraged non-sexuality until I was ready, but neither acted very surprised or disappointed when I decided to give it a go. They just wanted me to be smart about it.
Yesterday, Jezebel hosted a post about a new trend among Christians: Purity Balls. Basically, the point of a Purity Ball is for a father to take his daughter on a fairytale date, where they dress up, eat dinner, and dance the night away. Oh, and the daughter has to vow not to have sex until marriage. You know… the anti-prom.
The daughters invited to their fathers’ balls (oops, did I say that? :P) tend to be between the ages of 11 and 18, and all of them are going to be in therapy within 2 decades. Fathers who are into this kind of thing are told that they must provide their daughters with the attention that they would seek outside of the home that could lead to promiscuity. So basically instead of being just a good dad, he plays the role of doting suitor who fawns all over her in an attempt to keep her from opening her legs to some dude her age who tells her she’s hawt.
This is a creepy way of teaching your daughter about appropriate relationships. Actually, by acting this way they are providing their daughter with a questionable relationship. I guess it saves her some work and a possible STD. I’m pretty sure that if someone outside of the Christian religion acted this way, they would be suspected of child molestation. In fact, it kind of reminds me of NAMBLA, but not little boys. Speaking of which, why don’t sons get pure balls? After all, they’re the ones who have balls. Don’t they need to be pure? A quick Google search provided me with no answers. I can only assume that, considering this is a Christian shtick, the male-female double standard comes into play. Boys will be boys, you know.
Below is an interview from the Today Show, in which Matt Lauer speaks to the man with the plan, founder of Purity Balls, Randy Wilson, as well as a girl who took the pledge at 15 and later learned to take control of her own life, Shelby Knox.
Ewww, is he smarmy or what? Barf.
As Ms. Knox was saying, a lot of the girls don’t exactly know what it is that they’re pledging to. These are nice Christian families. If sex isn’t being discussed in Health & PE yet, it’s not being learned. All these girls know is that they’re making their daddy happy by vowing to love no man but him (also, God) until she finds (read: he chooses) a proper husband. A husband like him, who will make lots of babies with his subservient wife and then teach their daughters not to love anyone but him. The grossest vicious circle ever.