2 Horrible Ideas in 1: Jessica Simpson & Ear Candling

Pop moron Jessica Simpson, previously known for thinking tuna is chicken and buffalo wings are made of buffalo has now expanded her list of Things to Be Dumb About to reach beyond food items and into the alt med sphere:

This is “ear candling,” and it was stupid long before Jessica Simpson tried it. It’s supposed to remove wax from your ears (the wax that’s supposed to be in your ears. Don’t stick things in your ear trying to dig it out!), but all it actually does is burn you or clog your ear canal with hot wax, perforate your eardrum, or nothing if you’re lucky. You’re most likely to hurt yourself when you hold the candle vertically the way Simpson is doing here. No, the Papa John’s pizza box protector won’t help, because the candle is hollow and wax can drop through the inside.

So yeah. Don’t do that.

(Thanks for finding this and hurting us all with the stupidity, Sam.)

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca is a writer, speaker, YouTube personality, and unrepentant science nerd. In addition to founding and continuing to run Skepchick, she hosts Quiz-o-Tron, a monthly science-themed quiz show and podcast that pits comedians against nerds. There is an asteroid named in her honor.

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  1. (Thanks for finding this and hurting us all with the stupidity, Sam.)

    Sorry about that.

    But at least we can have some fun rotating the video so that Jessica is standing on her head or so that the Christmas tree is growing out of her back. That’s something.

  2. You know, if yesterday you had come to me and told me that a famous celebrity was going to post video on Twitter of them doing an ear candling on themselves for all of the world to see, Jessica Simpson would have at least been in the top five. Her stupidity doesn’t even surprise me anymore. Some may see me as jaded, I see myself as keeping my expectations low.

  3. When I first read about ear candling I thought it MUST be a joke. But a friend assured me that there are ear candling kits you can purchase at new-age quackery stores along with your dream-catchers and colloidal silver.

    What’s next for Ms. Simpson… hammering a crayon into her nose?


  4. “all it actually does is burn you or clog your ear canal with hot wax, perforate your eardrum, or nothing if you’re lucky”

    Let’s not forget that people have died from this

  5. People have died from this? Only really stupid people I hope.

    I have to admit though, once upon a time, I used those ear candles (thankfully there wasn’t any eardrum stabbing, or hair on fire or anything like that). :/

  6. Pro Tip:

    If something is on fire and causing you to scream in agony, remove it from your ear immediately.

    Don’t listen to a hairdresser (especially one who thinks Papa John’s is edible) telling you to keep it there.

    As for hearing, I’m fairly sure she never had that to begin with.

  7. I think JS is a genius. She has figured out how to parlay complete stupidity into riches. And to think, I learned differential calculus and Fourier transforms just to eek out a living as a tech slave. Now, I ask, who is the idiot?

  8. One of my mates said it was brilliant and I was desperate to get rid of a painful blocked ear a fair few years ago. I thought it sounded almost sound (a chimney creates a fairly strong vacuum afterall) so I got some at Holland & Barrett (should have been a clue, really) and tried it. It didnt work at all, so I did some more research and facepalmed myself, then facepalmed my mate for putting silly ideas in my head. Lesson learned, fortunately there were no injuries :)

  9. I think this is the proof they needed to award Albert Einstein a second, although posthumous, Nobel Prize. What does this prove?

    “There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity…and I’m not sure about the first one.”

  10. The first time I even heard of candling, I thought it was a little dodgy.

    I’ve had vascular tinnitus. Had it on and off my whole life, but in the last few months, it’s become pretty much constant. And I’ve been planning on seeing a doctor about it.

    I’m just waiting for the doctor to suggest candling. She referred my wife to a naturalpath on request, no questions asked. So I’m a little curious if she’s into alt med, or if she just went along with whatever my wife asked.

    But yeah… not sticking a candle in my ear. That much is for sure.

  11. @tinygreenalien:

    They do have a listing for 1 death due to ear candling, many other sites make note of the fact that people have died from it, but this is the only who to mention a specific case.

    I’m sure a couple of people have been set on fire during this, but sadly otherwise smart people do fall for this kind of stuff, doctors have and will suggested this to people, can’t really blame someone for following doctors orders

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