I’m sorry I’ve been missing the Comment o’ the Week as my Fridays have been crazy, but I just read this comment from Elyse (who is a writer, and thus not eligible for COTW) and it made me laugh so hard and for so long that I had to highlight it:
For hundreds of years women have been going to their doctors, in tears, â€œDoctor! Please! PLEASE! Help me! I donâ€™t have long enough lashes! I canâ€™t stand the pain any longer! PLEASE DO SOMETHING!â€
And until now, all the doctors could say is, â€œIâ€™m sorry maâ€™am. Your condition is incurable.â€ Then turning to their husbands (if only they were so lucky with such a crippling deformity) sympathetically and asking them if thereâ€™s anything he could prescribe to make the suffering husband more comfortableâ€¦. knowing that there is nothing more painful and nauseating than having a hideously scarred wife.
Here are some more recent drops of commenty gold:
Band name: Instant Flaccidity and the Empurplements.
And from ages ago, my friend John insisted Yossarian get special mention for this:
Sneeze fetish? Wow. At least, I assume, thereâ€™s no need for any Astroglide.