It’s Halloween Eve (which, I know, is like saying “Christmas Eve Eve” but shut up), and this fact may have influenced my choice for COTW:
// Oct 20, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Funny that you should post this. As a born-again atheist, I do not have any kind of â€œreligious beliefâ€. Even when I DID believe in God, (long long ago) I scarcely had any kind of â€œreligionâ€. Iâ€™m very laid-back about most things, and there is very little that Iâ€™m passionate about.
If I could be said to have any kind of â€œbeliefâ€ about anything, it would be a belief in Halloweâ€™en. I believe in the sanctity of Halloweâ€™en, and in the subtle power of this autumnal celebration. Oh no, I donâ€™t believe in any of the Pagan Gods of Samhain, nor do I believe that Halloweâ€™en is the day that the â€œveil between worlds is thinnestâ€ or any other crap like that. I donâ€™t think of it as the day before â€œAll Saintâ€™s Dayâ€ or the eve of Dia de los Muertas. I feel that Halloweâ€™en celebrates something else entirely.
I feel that Halloweâ€™en should be a FEAST OF FEAR.
Halloweâ€™en is the day that we explore our inner demons. Itâ€™s the day that we all try to get in touch with our own personal monsters. A time of year that we celebrate blood, and gore, and death, and terror, in all its wonderful visceral glory. Halloweâ€™en should be a celebration of these dark stirrings, and it should SCARE us.
This is why I am unfavorably in favor of a dark and terrifying Halloweâ€™en. When I see people walking around dressed as cartoon characters, or in â€œcleverâ€ costumes, (â€Hey look at us everybody! Iâ€™m a plug and sheâ€™s a wall socket! Get it!? Wink wink nudge!! AmIRight?â€) it just turns my stomach. Even the â€œeasyâ€ costumes, such as â€œFootball playerâ€, or â€œPrincessâ€, or â€œNinjaâ€, just arenâ€™t right to me. A proper Halloweâ€™en costume should be terrifying enough to make young children wet themselves and sleep with the lights on. If you havenâ€™t cost parents thousands of dollars in therapy bills just by walking down the street, youâ€™ve failed at Halloweâ€™en.
I have long wanted to create a front-yard Halloweâ€™en display so horrifying that Iâ€™d have to actually give away CASH, just to reward anyone brave enough to make the perilous journey from the street to my front door.
Unfortunately, my wifey wonâ€™t let me put up such a display, and sheâ€™s the only one that *I* am afraid of.
As his nominator mentions, this is the winning bit: “A proper Halloweâ€™en costume should be terrifying enough to make young children wet themselves and sleep with the lights on. If you havenâ€™t cost parents thousands of dollars in therapy bills just by walking down the street, youâ€™ve failed at Halloweâ€™en.”
Congrats, Draconius! You get to choose an Afternoon Inquisition, so send it in using the contact form. Happy Halloween Eve everyone!