Afternoon InquisitionSkepticism

AI: shit happens

I chatted with a fellow recently who shared some tragic personal stories. These lead to a severe rift between him and his father. Happily, he eventually made amends with his father who pardoned his son with, “It’s okay son, shit happens.”

This modern maxim was of great comfort to him. To rationalize and cope with life’s hassles he often thinks, “Oh well, shit happens.”

Shit happens, whatever, always look on the bright side of life, c’est la vie. ..

What’s your favorite pithy proverb?

The Afternoon Inquisition (or AI) is a question posed to you, the Skepchick community. Look for it to appear daily at 3pm ET.

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  1. That reminds me of “There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be” from All You Need is Love; or any lyrics from that song.

  2. “Know Jesus, no life”

    “Life’s just one kick in the bollocks after another”

  3. “Third Class riding is better than First Class walking”

    “Nothing is better than Homeopathy”

  4. If, by favorite, you mean: least favorite, then, my “favorite” is:

    At least X didn’t happen.

    Where X is some predicament slightly worse than your current one. It’s a vague and vacuous sentiment people often use.

  5. “They say money can’t buy happiness. Give me 50 bucks and watch me smile”

    The wit and wisdom of Bobby “The Brain” Heenan.

  6. “You’re going to have a magical life. Because no matter where you go, it will always be better than Tuscon.”

    With my provincial small-town roots, this line from “Hamlet 2” holds much gravity for me.

  7. And while we’re looking to music for inspiration, this has always been a favorite, along the same vein as my previous comment, courtesy of Crosby, Stills, & Nash from the song Suite Judy Blue Eyes:

    “Don’t let the past remind us of what we are not now.”

  8. @mahlersoboes: I am from Tucson, and am vaguely offended – it’s not that bad here! (Nor is it a particularly small town. It’s a CITY.)

    I’m not big on the platitudes and sayings…. but I can quote sixties music!

    For everything (turn, turn, turn) there is a season (turn, turn, turn)

  9. I generally avoid pithy proverbs.

    And, no, it’s not just because I can’t remember one in time!

  10. “There’s a difference between a chicken with its neck wrung and a chicken with its head cut off. But it makes no difference to the chicken.”

  11. Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent.

  12. “Some days you’re the bug, some days you’re the windshield.”

    “It’s a dog eat dog world and I’m wearing Milk-bone underwear.”

  13. Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.
    You have as much chance as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

  14. Keep moving forward

    Just keep on swiming

    Money might not buy happiness but poverty sucks balls

    Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry

    Be careful, stupid people are dangerous and the world is full of them.

  15. Life is not fair.

    My personal favorite, “Mom always said, don’t play ball in the house.” :)

  16. I taped a $20 bill to the street. Why don’t you go get it?

    Really that is fascinating, why don’t you go tell someone else about it?

    Life is to short to talk to you.

  17. As cheesy as it is, I have always been fond of the Rocky Horror Picture Show saying “Don’t Dream It, Be It”.

    Or the amazing Neil Patrick Harris, “Yeah that was a dick move on my part”.

  18. and…
    “Isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?” -Jonathan Coulton

    I know it isn’t a pithy proverb but it’s my favorite string of words. Ever.

  19. it is what it is

    mainly said after wishing it wasn’t what it is

    I find it to be freeing.

  20. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

    Applies in a multitude of situations to get me off my shy ass.

  21. Any Ani fans out there?

    For every hand extended, another lies in wait.

    Smile pretty, and watch your back.

  22. Life isn’t a warm up.

    This life is more than just a read through.

    You get one life, make the most of it.

    Life is a death sentence.

    Get busy living or get busy dying.

    If you work for a living why do you kill yourself working?

    You learn more from failure than you do from success.

    Life is hard, it’s harder if your stupid.

    If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice

    I will choose a purpose here I will choose free will.

    AA is for quiters

    If you shake it more than once your just playing with yourself.

    A high fiber diet will keep you regular

  23. “Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.”
    David Lee Roth

  24. “I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”

    E.B. White

  25. Some of my favs are:
    Outside of a dog a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
    -Groucho Marx

    I love deadlines, I love the whooshing noise they make as they fly past.

    Build a man a fire and he is warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.
    -Terry Pratchett

    Jesus loves me but he can’t stand you.
    -Austin Lounge Lizards

    I don’t want to be immortal through my works, I want to be immortal by not dying.
    -Woody Allen

    I may be a sheep, but I have a nice wooly coat for the winter.
    -Leo Laporte

    Why Linux hippie? I wear shoes.
    -Tom Merritt

    If you’ve got it, flaunt it.
    -Max Bialystock, The Producers

    There are others I just can’t think of them at this moment.

  26. “Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.”

    My favorite joke-y ones:

    “Decadence is its own reward.”

    “Indecision is the key to flexibility.”

  27. Don’t ask for credit as refusal often offends.

    (A code I think we can all learn from)

  28. I’ve got two I like.

    The one I use, “Slow down high speed, we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

    and the one I’ve only gotten to appropriately use twice, “Never meddle in the affairs of wizards, it makes them soggy and hard to light”

    Bonus points to anyone who knows the origin of the second one. ;)

  29. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which to die.

    If the shit fits, wear it!

    If wishes were horses, we’d all be eating steak.

    Anything too stupid to be said is sung.

    A witty saying proves nothing.

    (Those last two were by Voltaire…what a cheery guy.)

  30. This goes back at least to my great-grandmother I think, and is for some reason in 19th century Swedish, but I’ll translate for you:

    Now work you devils, rest you can have in the grave.

  31. Back in high school, my buddy and I were bitching about something to his taciturn much older brother (who eventually became a judge). The older brother quietly listened, then said,
    “Well, boys, life’s a shit sandwich, and everybody’s got to take a bite.”

  32. When something goes wrong for a friend of mine, I’ll sometimes say, “You can’t always get what you want…. (pause)… but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need”. Extra points if they join in and we break into our singing voices by the end.

  33. @Briarking: Yes, that was Churchill.

    “Things are always darkest right before the dawn.”

    Or its corollary:
    “Things are always darkest right before it goes pitch black.”

  34. another form Ani:
    Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right.

    and from friend of mine:
    Could be worse…you could be on fire.

  35. “Life isn’t a hamburger. You can’t always get it just the way you want” as heard from the mouth of a salty old satellite earth-station integration engineer. Origin unknown.

  36. “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe.”
    -Albert Einstein

  37. Elexina: for those extra special occasions “Here’s a quarter. Now go and call someone who gives a fuck.”

    Or a recent coinage from myself “When you discover the hard way that your kids have been playing with water, just be grateful it wasn’t fire.”

  38. @Gabrielbrawley: “Always aim for the center of mass.”

    Hmmm.. I always heard it slightly differently. For me it was:

    “Yes officer, just as I was trained, I was aiming center mass to wound.” ;)

  39. “Yu guo tian qing” – sunshine comes after rain – corny but it sounds pretty in Chinese.

    also Douglas Adams: “Isn’t it enough to know that the garden is beautiful without believing that there are fairies at the bottom of it?”

    …and finally

    “you CAN polish a turd, but you just end up with a shiny turd…”

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